IELTS essay, topic: the development of technology causes traditional skills to die out, agree or disagree?

Essay topics:

IELTS essay, topic: the development of technology causes traditional skills to die out, agree or disagree?

It is very important for every country to adapt new advancement in technology. Some people believe that recent technology takes away people from their traditional way of living while other think that it is crucial to be part of advanced technology. I strongly agree that it is easy to loose your traditional living style by acquiring new technology. This essay will explain my reasons for this thought.

First of all I think that it is very important for a culture and nationality to keep their own way of living. With new advancement people stop practicing their native way of living. For example mobile phones are a new invention which is almost a necessity for everyone now a days. Although it has its benefits but it has taken away our traditional way of meeting each other. There seemed to be less and less communication between family members even. In my country it used to be a fun activity for all family members to sit in the evening and share all experiences for day. Parents used to know their kids and children get wisdom from parents. But now every one has cell phones and their communication is by texting mostly. Sometimes four people sitting in one room can be on their phones with out talking each other for hours and hours. So it is important to keep our cultural values alive ,there should be more verbal communication and appropriate use of cell phones.

In the same way other recent advancement has effected mankind so abruptly that their culture has been lost. For example with invention of television people are spending their time on watching movies and shows. People used to read stories and watch live shows. There used to be cultural shows in theaters where many people go and spend their leisure time. That was a best way of entertainment along with connecting with friends and family. Story telling was a big event for kids. They used to sit with elders to hear interesting stories. But now TV and internet is very popular and children like to watch movies. Traditional games has been replaced by video games. Kids like to sit all day in front of TV and internet to play online games. This changed attitude has effected health of new generation.Obesity and medical problems like heart diseases are very common .

In summery, although technology is very important for development of a country, but it is very crucial for a nation to keep its identity. It is important to adapt new ways of living in moderation so that our new generation do not forget their roots.

Votes
Average: 5.7 (3 votes)

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 286, Rule ID: LOOSE_LOSE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'lose' (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
Suggestion: lose
...gy. I strongly agree that it is easy to loose your traditional living style by acquir...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 215, Rule ID: NEW_XX[1]
Message: Use simply 'invention'.
Suggestion: invention
...living. For example mobile phones are a new invention which is almost a necessity for everyon...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 270, Rule ID: NOW_A_DAYS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nowadays'?
Suggestion: nowadays
...hich is almost a necessity for everyone now a days. Although it has its benefits but it ha...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 274, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a day' or simply 'days'?
Suggestion: a day; days
... is almost a necessity for everyone now a days. Although it has its benefits but it ha...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 790, Rule ID: WITH_OUT[1]
Message: This word is usually written together. Did you mean 'without'?
Suggestion: without
...ting in one room can be on their phones with out talking each other for hours and hours....
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 891, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ortant to keep our cultural values alive ,there should be more verbal communicatio...
^^
Line 5, column 365, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[1]
Message: Use 'the' with the superlative.
Suggestion: the
... and spend their leisure time. That was a best way of entertainment along with co...
^
Line 5, column 800, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Obesity
...e has effected health of new generation.Obesity and medical problems like heart disease...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 864, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...lems like heart diseases are very common . In summery, although technology is ...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, so, while, for example, i think, first of all, in the same way

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 13.1623246493 182% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 7.85571142285 38% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 10.4138276553 182% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 7.30460921844 123% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 24.0651302605 170% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 57.0 41.998997996 136% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.3376753507 156% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2066.0 1615.20841683 128% => OK
No of words: 434.0 315.596192385 138% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.76036866359 5.12529762239 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56428161445 4.20363070211 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64155236871 2.80592935109 94% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 176.041082164 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.481566820276 0.561755894193 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 656.1 506.74238477 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 0.809619238477 371% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 16.0721442886 168% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.2975951904 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 30.1429151888 49.4020404114 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 76.5185185185 106.682146367 72% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.0740740741 20.7667163134 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.74074074074 7.06120827912 39% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.01903807615 179% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.67935871743 161% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 3.4128256513 293% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0530101149945 0.244688304435 22% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0157295684439 0.084324248473 19% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0282653999397 0.0667982634062 42% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0447585950236 0.151304729494 30% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0341483935292 0.056905535591 60% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.0 13.0946893788 69% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 50.2224549098 127% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 11.3001002004 74% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.03 12.4159519038 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.56 8.58950901804 88% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 78.4519038076 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 9.78957915832 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.1190380762 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 11.2359550562 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.