The following appeared in the opinion column of a financial magazine:
“On average, middle-aged consumers devote 39 percent of their retail expenditure to department store products and services, while for younger consumers the average is only 25 percent. Since the number of middle-aged people will increase dramatically within the next decade, department stores can expect retail sales to increase significantly during that period. Furthermore, to take advantage of the trend, these stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
The editor of the opinion column of a financial magazine avers that the middle aged consumers devote a larger share of their earning to department store products and services than do the younger aged consumers.So, the writer suggests that the stores should take advantage of the trend and replace the products that intend to attract the younger consumers with the products intended to attract the middle age consumers.At first glance, this argument appears to be fairly coherent and convincing.However, upon closer examination, several questionable assumptions, dubious claims and unsubstantial reasoning renders the argument wholly unpersuasive.
To begin with, the writer assumes that the trend of the expenditure done by the middle age consumers and the younger consumers will continue to carry over the next decade.But, nothing is constant.Maybe the trend only works for the current scenario and then after some time may change altogether.In short, the writer cannot predict on a long run basis based on today's information.
Additionally, the source of the expenditure trend is also not mentioned by the writer.From where did the the writer arrive at those specific numbers, what were the parameters taken into account or what was the sample size of the study etc.One cannot actually bank on the information provided by the writer till one is fully sure regarding its credibility.Hence, more information is required in order to arrive at some conclusions.
Furthermore, the writer on suggesting the way to cash on in the expenditure trend, only takes into account the number of new middle age consumers that will be added in the coming decade.But, he forgets that the new younger generation will similarly be coming up and not just vanish out of the picture.Precisely, there will always be a demand by the young consumers at the department stores, but the exact percentage may surely vary.
In a nutshell, the argument stated by the writer in the opinion section of the financial magazine about the department sales going up soon due to some expenditure trends is not compelling enough.If the writer wants to convince his readers regarding the same, he will have to provide proper studies and its details showcasing the trends and its effects.
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flaws:
The arguments are not exactly right on the point. The main argument is about 'retail expenditure'. Maybe the retail expenditure for middle-aged consumer and younger consumer is different, for example:
the retail expenditure for middle-aged consumer is: $100, while
the retail expenditure for younger consumer is: $1000
so the cost for:
middle-aged consumer is: $100 x 39% = $39
for younger consumer is: $1000 x 25% = $250
see, younger consumers are more important.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 6 15
No. of Words: 373 350
No. of Characters: 1849 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.395 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.957 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.609 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 62.167 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 21.303 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.498 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.88 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.179 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5