45 The following is part of a memorandum from the president of Humana University.
"Last year the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered by nearby Omni University increased by 50 percent. During the same year, Omni showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditures for dormitory and classroom space, most likely because instruction in the online programs takes place via the Internet. In contrast, over the past three years, enrollment at Humana University has failed to grow, and the cost of maintaining buildings has increased along with our budget deficit. To address these problems, Humana University will begin immediately to create and actively promote online degree programs like those at Omni. We predict that instituting these online degree programs will help Humana both increase its total enrollment and solve its budget problems."
In this memo, the president of Humana University suggests Humana Uiversity should create and improve online degree programs to increase enrollment and solve budget problems. Even though this argument seems plausible at the first glance, a close scrutiny reveals its untenability.
At the first, the author mistakenly equals the enrollment of online degree programs to the total enrollment. Although the enrollment of online degree programs of Omni University increased by 50 percent last year, it does not mean that the total enrollment of Omni University also increased. Perhaps the enrollment of programs in campus decreased more. Without the exact statistics of total enrollment change of Omni University, the author cannot conclude how much online programs contributed to the total enrollment. For the reason that the total enrollment of Omni University probably decreased, the author cannot ensure the increasement of total enrollment in Humana University.
Secondly, there is no obvious relationship between enrollment of online programs and budget for dormitory and classroom space. The causes of fluctuation expenditures of two universities for dormitory and classroom space are various. Maybe Humana University want to improve the quality of dormitory and classroom spaces to attract more students. Or perhaps, the students of Omni University have to pay much more tuition due to the limited budget in Omni University. Thus, the improvement of online programs for Humana University cannot guarantee to solve the budget problem.
Finally, suppose that Omni University did increase total enrollment and solve budget problems by developing online degree programs, imitating Omni University may get dissatisfying solution. On the one hand, as a university with high reputation in online degree programs, Omni University may be the strongest competitor of Humana University, which just plans to pay more attention on online education. On the other hand, two universities are under different circumstances. Imitation of on aspect of Omni University might be not helpful for Humana University to solve its problems.
In conclusion, the author fails to prove that create and promote online degree programs would solve the budget problems and improve total enrollment for Humana University. To make it more persuasive, the author has to provide statistics about the total enrollment and enrollment of online programs of Omni University. More information about the reasons of why budget for dorms and classrooms of Omni University decreased last year is also appreciated.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 388 350
No. of Characters: 2143 1500
No. of Different Words: 163 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.438 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.523 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.872 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 180 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 127 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 105 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 78 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.421 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.098 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.526 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.43 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.625 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.199 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5