"All students should be required to take the driver's education course at Centerville High School. In the past two years, several accidents in and around Centerville have involved teenage drivers. Since a number of parents in Centerville have complained that they are too busy to teach their teenagers to drive, some other instruction is necessary to ensure that these teenagers are safe drivers. Although there are two driving schools in Centerville, parents on a tight budget cannot afford to pay for driving instruction. Therefore an effective and mandatory program sponsored by the high school is the only solution to this serious problem."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument. The following appeared in a letter to the school board in the town of Centerville.
The author of the statement above believes that the only solution to reduce the teenage driver accidents, is a mandatory program sponsored by the Centerville High school which instructs the teenagers how to drive safely. This conclusion is based on the assumptions that teenage drivers were not aware of safety rules that such accidents happens. This argument lacks supporting evidence to make the conclusion persuasive.
First, the author needs to provide evidence showing that it is teenagers who are at fault in these accidents. It is highly possible that teenagers are not responsible for these accidents. Then no matter how much they are prepared, the other car drivers may hit them. Furthermore, it has to be shown also that lack of knowledge about safety was the main reason of the accidents. It is highly possible that in every accidents the teenagers were totally aware of the safety rules of driving, and did not observe the rules. Whether they do not observe the rules for having fun or they thought that they can handle any upcoming situation, then these driving lessons would not change the number of accidents.
Secondly, the author mentions that parents are busy to teach the driving instructions to their children. Furthermore, some parents cannot afford to pay for registering their teenagers in either of two driving schools in Centreville. Thus, the author concludes, it is the Centreville High school that should shoulder instructing the teenagers. The author needs to provide enough evidence that the school budget can sponsor all the children in driving lessons. It is possible that the cost becomes so much that the high school faces deficit. Thus, before making such a mandatory, an evidence is needed that school does not compromise its budget.
Finally, the author mentions his/her solution as the only solution to reduce the number of accidents involve teenage drivers. It is possible that there are other factors that make these accidents happen. The defects in infrastructures such as lack of signs or at night, lack of proper lighting system, potholes in the roads, and many other things rise the number of accidents. Other than infrastructures, the police system might be inefficient that, for example, let some teenagers to accelerate their speed beyond the speed limit and compromise their lives. The author needs to provide evidence that all alternative precautions has been already done and it is only the teenagers knowing the safety rules of driving who can preclude the accidents.
In short, as discussed, the sponsorship of the Centerville high school to instruct the teenagers how to drive safely is not persuasive. The argument lacks vital evidences, which are enumerated above, to show that the only way is what the author recognizes to reduce the number of the accidents involving teenage drivers.
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Comments
lets discuss about my second
lets discuss about my second argument.
the author of the statement uses 54 words out of 68 words (excluding the introduction and conclusion sentence) which is equal to 80 percent of the argument to say:
parents can't... so the high school should do it.
regarding your previous instructions, is it proper not to argue about the 80% of the author's argument?
In the second argument, you
In the second argument, you put:
'The author needs to provide enough evidence that the school budget can sponsor all the children in driving lessons. It is possible that the cost becomes so much that the high school faces deficit. Thus, before making such a mandatory, an evidence is needed that school does not compromise its budget.'
you made something new: 'school budget' which is not mentioned in the statement. So we put:
better:
If the students who participate in the program will surely pay enough attention and concentration, eventually adjust their driving habits, the application of the program will be supported. However, without any precedent cases supporting positive outcome, one hardly can expect the program will be effective.
You still need to keep other arguments.
When I'm looking back, I see
When I'm looking back, I see how much you people were patient in my learning.... thank you
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- better:
If the students who participate in the program will surely pay enough attention and concentration, eventually adjust their driving habits, the application of the program will be supported. However, without any precedent cases supporting positive outcome, one hardly can expect the program will be effective.
argument 3 -- OK
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 462 350
No. of Characters: 2330 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.636 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.043 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.593 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 178 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 126 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.842 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.591 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.324 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.514 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5