The reading exrept is representimg an agrument that implemented prucedure of teachers’ evaluation by student led to the inaccurate reflection of student’s achivements and as a result decline of a rate of enmloynment through the graduates in comparison with the other university. However, the argument rife with holes and an warranted assumptions, and hence not strong enough to buttress the proceded conclution. I would illustrate my position through discussion three major evidencies which are needed to make the argument clear: evidences about implementing any other changes in education process, potential employee’s consideration about this sutiation and statistical data as a representation of this university in comparison with others.
First misleading assumption is about the unclear connection between implementing of new procedure and higher grades avarages. The real reasons could be different from implementing new technologies in class to the perturbation in teachers stuff, caused by hiring a new more talanted professors. To build a solid argument based on this assumption the author should investigate other possible explanations of rising of the students’ grades. Consecuantly, after presentation of this data, which will support or refute his consideration the hole in the argument will be filled.
In addition, the assumption of the connection between the inflation of students’ grades and reluctance of potential employees to hire this students is unwarranted and unconstrictive. Moreover, the author didn’t provide any testimonies to persuade the reader in his rightness, because there could be another hidden reasons why employes prefer to hire graduates from the Alpha University. For example, the reason may be the higher grades of students in this university or opportunity to have a practice before the graduation in comparison with the Omega University. Therefore, if a real employers answer all the existing question concerning rates of emloynece of students from both universities and main factors which play role in getting a position then this interview will perfectly opens up the real situation of the emloyers rejection.
Finally, the author aslo talking about differencies in universities’ education system, it is worth mentioning the statistical data, which will fully represent why employers prefer students from the Alpha University rather than from the Omega university. The real problem may be hidden in other flaws of educational system which the Omega university committie will have to overlook for improving the compitability of students on the market of vacancies.
To sum up, various avenues are left unexplored int he passage, de to which the conclusion seems feeble. It would be wise to address those areas prior to setting any firm conclution on the matter.
- TPO-18 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 73
- TPO-41 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Teachers were more appreciated and valued by society in the past than they are nowadays.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 76
- TPO-30 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours. Use spec 70
- TPO-13 - Integrated Writing Task Private collectors have been selling and buying fossils, the petrified remains of ancient organisms, ever since the eighteenth century. In recent years, however, the sale of fossils, particularly of dinosaurs and other lar 80
- TPO-10 - Integrated Writing Task The sea otter is a small mammal that lives in waters along the western coast of North America from California to Alaska. When some sea otter populations off the Alaskan coast started rapidly declining a few years ago, it c 80
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: The reading exrept is representimg an agrument that implemented prucedure of teachers' evaluation by student led to the inaccurate reflection of student's achivements and as a result decline of a rate of enmloynment through the graduates in comparison with the other university.
Error: prucedure Suggestion: procedure
Error: representimg Suggestion: representing
Error: exrept Suggestion: except
Error: enmloynment Suggestion: enjoyment
Error: achivements Suggestion: achievements
Error: agrument Suggestion: argument
Sentence: However, the argument rife with holes and an warranted assumptions, and hence not strong enough to buttress the proceded conclution.
Error: rife Suggestion: rise
Error: conclution Suggestion: conclusion
Error: proceded Suggestion: proceed
Sentence: I would illustrate my position through discussion three major evidencies which are needed to make the argument clear: evidences about implementing any other changes in education process, potential employee's consideration about this sutiation and statistical data as a representation of this university in comparison with others.
Error: sutiation Suggestion: station
Error: evidencies Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: First misleading assumption is about the unclear connection between implementing of new procedure and higher grades avarages.
Error: avarages Suggestion: averages
Sentence: The real reasons could be different from implementing new technologies in class to the perturbation in teachers stuff, caused by hiring a new more talanted professors.
Error: talanted Suggestion: talented
Sentence: Moreover, the author didn't provide any testimonies to persuade the reader in his rightness, because there could be another hidden reasons why employes prefer to hire graduates from the Alpha University.
Error: employes Suggestion: employed
Sentence: Therefore, if a real employers answer all the existing question concerning rates of emloynece of students from both universities and main factors which play role in getting a position then this interview will perfectly opens up the real situation of the emloyers rejection.
Error: emloyers Suggestion: employers
Error: emloynece Suggestion: employee
Sentence: Finally, the author aslo talking about differencies in universities' education system, it is worth mentioning the statistical data, which will fully represent why employers prefer students from the Alpha University rather than from the Omega university.
Error: differencies Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: aslo Suggestion: also
Sentence: The real problem may be hidden in other flaws of educational system which the Omega university committie will have to overlook for improving the compitability of students on the market of vacancies.
Error: compitability Suggestion: computability
Error: committie Suggestion: committee
Sentence: It would be wise to address those areas prior to setting any firm conclution on the matter.
Error: conclution Suggestion: conclusion
---------------
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK. Need to argue against the conclusion always. For this topic it is:
To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should terminate student evaluation of professors.
----------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 22 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 427 350
No. of Characters: 2339 1500
No. of Different Words: 230 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.546 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.478 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.091 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 182 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 147 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 119 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 89 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.467 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.444 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.599 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.071 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 332, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...wever, the argument rife with holes and an warranted assumptions, and hence not st...
^^
Line 1, column 345, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'assumption'?
Suggestion: assumption
...gument rife with holes and an warranted assumptions, and hence not strong enough to buttres...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 416, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...other possible explanations of rising of the students' grades. Consecuantly,...
^^
Line 5, column 140, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...luctance of potential employees to hire this students is unwarranted and unconstrict...
^^^^
Line 5, column 596, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'employer'?
Suggestion: employer
... Omega University. Therefore, if a real employers answer all the existing question concer...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 794, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'open'
Suggestion: open
...tion then this interview will perfectly opens up the real situation of the emloyers r...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 55, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'passages'.
Suggestion: passages
...ious avenues are left unexplored int he passage, de to which the conclusion seems feebl...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, hence, however, if, look, may, moreover, so, then, therefore, for example, in addition, in fact, talking about, as a result, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 73.0 55.5748502994 131% => OK
Nominalization: 32.0 16.3942115768 195% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2427.0 2260.96107784 107% => OK
No of words: 426.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.69718309859 5.12650576532 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54310108192 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.31932934141 2.78398813304 119% => OK
Unique words: 232.0 204.123752495 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.544600938967 0.468620217663 116% => OK
syllable_count: 762.3 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 69.6191544524 57.8364921388 120% => OK
Chars per sentence: 161.8 119.503703932 135% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.4 23.324526521 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.3333333333 5.70786347227 181% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.144534818584 0.218282227539 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0541649298382 0.0743258471296 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0523165116742 0.0701772020484 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0787298040833 0.128457276422 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0458447816409 0.0628817314937 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.6 14.3799401198 136% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 26.14 48.3550499002 54% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 13.0 7.1628742515 181% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.6 12.197005988 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 16.08 12.5979740519 128% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.07 8.32208582834 121% => OK
difficult_words: 136.0 98.500998004 138% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 22.0 12.3882235529 178% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.