The following appeared in a health newsletter.
A fifteen-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing protective gear while skating indicates that fifteen years ago, approximately 40 percent of all skaters reported wearing protective gear, whereas today the percentage stands at nearly 85. Another study, however, suggests that during the same fifteen-year period, the number of accidents caused by skating has increased by 200 percent. These results demonstrate that skaters feel safer because they are wearing protective gear, and they take more risks as a result. Thus, there is clearly a call for the government to strive to reduce the number of serious injuries from skating accidents by launching an education program that concentrates on the factors other than protective gear use that are necessary for skating safety.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The following appeared in health news letter. Author drawn conclusion, that as the number of accident caused by skating has increased by 200 percent from last fifteen years. Thus, there is clearly call for Government to strive to reduce the number of serious injuries from skating accidents by Launching an education program. There are several question which to be asked by author before concluding the argument. Before argument came in to accutal, let us look in to the given arguments.
Firstly, Author states that fifteen years nation wide study show an effectiveness of wearing protective gear which is increased approximately from 40 percent to 85 percent. Author need to check about nation wide study validity, previous data provided by study. Nation wide study can't hold approximation with individual city, because it might be different situation in individual. Author need to data for an study, about in this figure which shows increase in protective gear from 40 percent to 85 percent, study or survey need to provide data about how mech of 40 percent and how much of 85 percents. because, we don't have any information about peoples interest in sketing. It might possible that person who have just interest in sketing so that he bought an all related product which include an skating protective gear, but in actual he may not use. The survey or study about fifteen years ago, there are number of chages, rules, regulation updated in fifteen years.
Secondly, Author mention that another study suggest that during same fifteen years period number of accident caused by skating has increased by 200 percent. Author need to check whether an accident involve only rider mistake, it might be several thing such as road condition. It's after all there are several changes happen in fifty year, there are as population increases so the number of vehicle increase so that it might possibilty that heavy traffic in the city which result in skating accidents. Author specifically mention that increase in accident by 200 percent, it's questionable why accident increase tremendiously, it might possiblity that sports classes which offer course skating, will offer high charges from childeren so childeren prefer to learn by self or by practice. so tyro has definately an accident at starting phase.
Thirdly, Author mention that the reason behind that accident is that skeater feel safer because they are wearing protective gear and take more risk as result. Author need to check quality of protective gear, about an efficiency of protective gear. It might possible that if there are two types of protective gear so person or childeren unable to differentiate it from which one good quality then he may fail. as number of accident increase, the author state that call for government to strive to reduce the number of serious injuires from skating accident by launching education program that concentrate on other factor other than protective gear use that are necessary for skating safety. What are question asked by government to skate rider, and what are answer are given by skate rider?. It might possible that they are not providing exact reason or issue faced by them. so that it's remain unsolved issue.
To sum up with all, there are several question which need to be asked by author before passing any argument. The argument become weak argument because of several unanswerable question.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-08-21 | Kshitij Kasabekar | 60 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 22 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 14 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 557 350
No. of Characters: 2786 1500
No. of Different Words: 240 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.858 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.002 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.489 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 215 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 155 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 90 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.318 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.528 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.545 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.337 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.536 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.157 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 337, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun question seems to be countable; consider using: 'several questions'.
Suggestion: several questions
...unching an education program. There are several question which to be asked by author before conc...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 43, Rule ID: NATION_WIDE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nationwide'?
Suggestion: nationwide
...rstly, Author states that fifteen years nation wide study show an effectiveness of wearing ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 201, Rule ID: NATION_WIDE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nationwide'?
Suggestion: nationwide
... 85 percent. Author need to check about nation wide study validity, previous data provided ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 262, Rule ID: NATION_WIDE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nationwide'?
Suggestion: Nationwide
...idity, previous data provided by study. Nation wide study cant hold approximation with indi...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 280, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...ta provided by study. Nation wide study cant hold approximation with individual city...
^^^^
Line 3, column 405, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
... in individual. Author need to data for an study, about in this figure which shows...
^^
Line 3, column 602, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Because
...40 percent and how much of 85 percents. because, we dont have any information about peo...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 602, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...40 percent and how much of 85 percents. because, we dont have any information about peo...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 614, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...nd how much of 85 percents. because, we dont have any information about peoples inte...
^^^^
Line 3, column 794, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...ht an all related product which include an skating protective gear, but in actual ...
^^
Line 5, column 239, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun thing seems to be countable; consider using: 'several things'.
Suggestion: several things
...involve only rider mistake, it might be several thing such as road condition. Its after all t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 277, Rule ID: IT_IS[6]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: It's; It is
...e several thing such as road condition. Its after all there are several changes hap...
^^^
Line 5, column 785, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...prefer to learn by self or by practice. so tyro has definately an accident at star...
^^
Line 7, column 410, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: As
...hich one good quality then he may fail. as number of accident increase, the author...
^^
Line 7, column 875, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...ng exact reason or issue faced by them. so that its remain unsolved issue. To s...
^^
Line 7, column 875, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[3]
Message: “so that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ng exact reason or issue faced by them. so that its remain unsolved issue. To sum up...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 31, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun question seems to be countable; consider using: 'several questions'.
Suggestion: several questions
...issue. To sum up with all, there are several question which need to be asked by author before...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, thus, after all, such as, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 28.0 13.6137724551 206% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 86.0 55.5748502994 155% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2848.0 2260.96107784 126% => OK
No of words: 556.0 441.139720559 126% => OK
Chars per words: 5.12230215827 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.85588840946 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55343494516 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 251.0 204.123752495 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.451438848921 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 888.3 705.55239521 126% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 65.3250860229 57.8364921388 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.538461538 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.3846153846 23.324526521 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.42307692308 5.70786347227 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 17.0 5.25449101796 324% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.254718280705 0.218282227539 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0750753059996 0.0743258471296 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0892312806343 0.0701772020484 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.129773240965 0.128457276422 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0937174067872 0.0628817314937 149% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.3799401198 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.42 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.03 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 98.500998004 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.