The following appeared in a health newsletter.
"A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that number is nearly 80 percent. Another study, however, suggests that during the same ten-year period, the number of bicycle-related accidents has increased 200 percent. These results demonstrate that bicyclists feel safer because they are wearing helmets, and they take more risks as a result. Thus, to reduce the number of serious injuries from bicycle accidents, the government should concentrate more on educating people about bicycle safety and less on encouraging or requiring bicyclists to wear helmets."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The author assumes that due to wearing a helmet, people feel safer. Then people can take more risks when riding the bicycle. Thus, if teaching people bicycle safety, the number of injury will decrease. However, this assumption is unwarranted because it lacks some pieces of evidence and didn’t ruling out some possible factors.
The first problematic assumption is that the author relies on nationwide study of wearing a helmet to suggest that people wearing a helmet is increasing dramatically. However, the author does not mention the exactly number of people wearing a helmet involved in this study. Specifically, there are more than one trillion population, but they merely study one thousand people: only increasing from 350 to 850. Then, the nationwide study cannot represent the overall number of people wearing a helmet since the exactly number of people is lacking.
Another dubious assumption is that the arguer fails to establish the causal relationship between feeling safety and taking more risks. It’s highly possible that other factors contributed taking more risks. For instance, taking more risks might have resulted from life pressure since bicycle is used to relieve stress. It is also likely that the function of bicycle is changed because more and more people like extreme sport. Lacking evidence that links felling safety and taking more risks, it is presumptuous to suggest that feeling safety was responsible for taking more risks.
Even if relationship between feeling safety and taking more risks is exist, it is imprudent to presume that no factors other than lacking teaching people safety course caused increasing the number of serious injuries from bicycle accidents. A myriad of other factors, including unwilling attendance of course, or unwilling to follow the guide, might be the cause of increasing the number of injury. To be specific, even though people attend the course, people still don’t follow the guide, which will make backfire the motivation of attending the course. Without ruling out these and other possible causes, the editor cannot justifiably conclude that only by teaching people safety course can reducing the number of injury.
To sum up, the author’s assumption is unwarranted because of lacking evidence and didn’t preclude some other possible factors. If author offers the exactly number of people in the study, evidence that links feeling safety and taking more risks, and precludes the possible factors that people is unwilling to attend the course or unwilling to follow the guide, the conclusion will be more reasonable.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 12 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 412 350
No. of Characters: 2124 1500
No. of Different Words: 171 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.505 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.155 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.451 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 192 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.684 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.467 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.737 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.39 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.608 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.143 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 295, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[4]
Message: The verb 'didn't' requires base form of this verb: 'rule'
Suggestion: rule
...acks some pieces of evidence and didn’t ruling out some possible factors. The first...
^^^^^^
Line 8, column 70, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'existed'.
Suggestion: existed
...feeling safety and taking more risks is exist, it is imprudent to presume that no fac...
^^^^^
Line 8, column 725, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...urse can reducing the number of injury. To sum up, the author’s assumption is un...
^^^^^
Line 10, column 308, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ible factors that people is unwilling to attend the course or unwilling to follow...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, so, still, then, thus, for instance, of course, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 55.5748502994 79% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2199.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 409.0 441.139720559 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.37652811736 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49708221141 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50871234932 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 177.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.432762836186 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 682.2 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.3665005364 57.8364921388 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.736842105 119.503703932 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.5263157895 23.324526521 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.63157894737 5.70786347227 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.114683873739 0.218282227539 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0509382855289 0.0743258471296 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0695201580436 0.0701772020484 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0782874975765 0.128457276422 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0797284693132 0.0628817314937 127% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 14.3799401198 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.92 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 98.500998004 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 12.3882235529 52% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.