The following appeared in a letter from the faculty committee to the president of Seatown University:
A study conducted at nearby Oceania University showed that faculty retention is higher when professors are offered free tuition at the university for their own college-aged children. Therefore, Seatown should institute a free-tuition policy for its professors for the purpose of enhancing morale among the faculty and luring new professors.
In order to enhance morale within the existing faculty members and to attract new professors, the faculty committee of Seatown University has suggested the president of the university to offer free tuition for the professors' college-aged children. This proposal is based on a study that was conducted by a nearby Oceania University which found that faculty retention is higher when this type of incentive is given to the professors. Although this letter seems to make a cogent case for its suggestion, it needs to provide more elaboration on its stated, as well as unmentioned, evidence.
First of all, it is imprudent for the faculty committee of Seatown University to suggest a policy based on a study that interviewed professors from a different university, and not its own. There is no evidence showing that the faculty members of Oceania University are analogous to its own, which means that they could have startlingly different characteristics. It is possible that Seatown University professors might not have as much of a positive response to free tuition as those of the other University, so the president shouldn't hastily decide on pursuing this suggestion. Seatown University would first have to conduct a survey with its own professors on how they feel about this policy were it to be implemented.
Also, this survey should not be instantly approved by Seatown University because there are no details about how the study was conducted. Were all of the professors included in the study? Were any possible other variables that could affect the correlation between faculty retention and free tuition controlled for when the study was conducted? It is possible that the relationship found between faculty retention and free tuition was just pure coincidence. Perhaps there weren't that many new job offers from other universities for the professors of Oceania University when the study was conducted, explaining the low turnover. Since there a lack of details on the specifics of the study, the results that were found should not be received as concrete and factual.
The suggestion of instituting a free-tuition policy makes a person wonder, then, what the policies for professors that don't have children would be. It is highly unlikely that all the professors would have children, or they could have children who would opt out of going to college or who have already graduated from one. As such, there is no data on the proportion of professors who would benefit from this policy if it is instituted; the portion could be less than half of the professors, which would not really lead to the desired retention rate that the university is pursuing. The university should look for other measures for professors who do not fit the description for this policy, so that they would not feel that they are being marginalized.
In conclusion, unless there are more details for the evidence given in the letter, the president of Seatown University should not decide to carry out this new policy. A careful comparison on whether Seatown University is similar to Oceania University should be conducted, and the validity of the survey that is stated should be analyzed. Also, benefits for professors who don't have children should be deliberated on as well. There needs to be more supporting data in order to make this letter more persuasive.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
need two arguments to argue the conclusion:
1. for the purpose of enhancing morale among the faculty
2. for the purpose of luring new professors.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 552 350
No. of Characters: 2743 1500
No. of Different Words: 207 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.847 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.969 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.766 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 194 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 159 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 110 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 81 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.286 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.09 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.476 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.355 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.568 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.121 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed, as well as unmentioned, evidence. First of all, it is imprudent for the fa...
^^
Line 2, column 529, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: shouldn't
... the other University, so the president shouldnt hastily decide on pursuing this suggest...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...his policy were it to be implemented. Also, this survey should not be instantl...
^^
Line 3, column 145, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...about how the study was conducted. Were all of the professors included in the study? Were ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 473, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: weren't
...as just pure coincidence. Perhaps there werent that many new job offers from other uni...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... be received as concrete and factual. The suggestion of instituting a free-tui...
^^
Line 4, column 122, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
..., what the policies for professors that dont have children would be. It is highly un...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eel that they are being marginalized. In conclusion, unless there are more det...
^^
Line 5, column 375, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...yzed. Also, benefits for professors who dont have children should be deliberated on ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, look, really, so, then, well, in conclusion, as well as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 36.0 19.6327345309 183% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 27.0 13.6137724551 198% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2794.0 2260.96107784 124% => OK
No of words: 548.0 441.139720559 124% => OK
Chars per words: 5.09854014599 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.83832613839 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83941840392 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 204.123752495 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.399635036496 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 892.8 705.55239521 127% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.7460911858 57.8364921388 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.047619048 119.503703932 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0952380952 23.324526521 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.09523809524 5.70786347227 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.381255967249 0.218282227539 175% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.133343269977 0.0743258471296 179% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0905842986188 0.0701772020484 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.245490307368 0.128457276422 191% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0963756063905 0.0628817314937 153% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 14.3799401198 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.21 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 114.0 98.500998004 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.