The following appeared in a letter from the owner of the Sunnyside Towers apartment complex to its manager.
"One month ago, all the showerheads in the first three buildings of the Sunnyside Towers complex were modified to restrict maximum water flow to one-third of what it used to be. Although actual readings of water usage before and after the adjustment are not yet available, the change will obviously result in a considerable savings for Sunnyside Corporation, since the corporation must pay for water each month. Except for a few complaints about low water pressure, no problems with showers have been reported since the adjustment. I predict that modifying showerheads to restrict water flow throughout all twelve buildings in the Sunnyside Towers complex will increase our profits even more dramatically."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The author of the letter, the owner of the Sunny Towers apartments complex argue that the modified shower-heads to limit amount of flowing water efficiently increase usages of it to eventually help growth of the company. Although the evidences such as no problems with showers what he mentioned seem enough for his conclusion, however, the author should consider the relevant factors to be taken account of to deal with the correlation between the water consumption and the profits for their business. The following of the essay will discuss on both advantages and disadvantages involving he overly assumed to assert his position for the novel restriction rules to one-third of previous used waters.
Admittedly reducing the maximum water flow cause to save the safe budgets that can be applied to other significant operating systems or new programs as a challenge. The causality of changing shower-heads and the water throughout al twelve buildings quite sound clear and the demo test have been already proven for a month in the low three buildings where the company mounted on. Nonetheless, there are some factors what should be clarified as a second check before real-world implementation of re-modeling the shower room.
We have to first argue on the revenue streams of costs for the newly bought shower-heads and the margined money for the one-third of water usages. The first step to verify this is to analysis a statistically the data on the current usages of waters for days, weeks, or
months. After the chart or plots for them, the trends and the break-even point will be clearly presented. The owner of the apartment do not venture the risk of betting to the guaranteed side because the way to gather related information would be simple and easy: surveying the manager for how long or how many times do they shower per weeks? The sophisticated tools to measure are not required.
On the top of that, if the water flowing per second is decreased, then the times for the shower might be delayed to remove out all the bubbles or dirt stuff in the body so the multiplication of the time spent for showers and the ratio of one-third would remain same. Thus, the money demanded to the shower will be maintained even though the speed of the flow will be significantly decreased. argument in the previous sentence sound reasonable because the total amount of water to wash out the bubble is same regardless of the velocity of the water.
Lastly, the main source of the water usage perhaps not comes from the shower room, but from the main operating systems or computers in the factories or offices. The number of the products what the company sell generally is over the number of employees, therefore, it probably will be better choice to focus on the getting gains by reducing the waters from the machines, not the small amount of shower of the members of group. if the main source will be proven not from the members, then the satisfactions and the productivity and the passions will be noticeably decreased.
In conclusion, this essay consider the new regulation of applying the modified shower-head to fall out the water usages for shower will be the best way to maximize the margin of the company. The evidences of the passage will contain the power of persuation itself, nevertheless, the argument will be fruitful to convince more readers to agree his stance if the aforementioned keys included in the argument of the essay.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 582 350
No. of Characters: 2808 1500
No. of Different Words: 281 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.912 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.825 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.663 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 196 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 143 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 98 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 64 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 34.235 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.277 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.327 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.606 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.114 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... one-third of previous used waters. Admittedly reducing the maximum water fl...
^^
Line 6, column 269, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ent usages of waters for days, weeks, or months. After the chart or plots for the...
^^^
Line 10, column 394, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Argument
... flow will be significantly decreased. argument in the previous sentence sound reasonab...
^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 8, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the velocity of the water. Lastly, the main source of the water usage perha...
^^
Line 13, column 428, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...ount of shower of the members of group. if the main source will be proven not from...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, lastly, nevertheless, nonetheless, second, so, then, therefore, third, thus, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 11.1786427146 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 13.6137724551 29% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 82.0 55.5748502994 148% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2879.0 2260.96107784 127% => OK
No of words: 582.0 441.139720559 132% => OK
Chars per words: 4.94673539519 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.91168771031 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72073002015 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 290.0 204.123752495 142% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.498281786942 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 881.1 705.55239521 125% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 30.0 22.8473053892 131% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 59.1787751126 57.8364921388 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 151.526315789 119.503703932 127% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.6315789474 23.324526521 131% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.52631578947 5.70786347227 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.15768463074 136% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.148407449804 0.218282227539 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0473161512235 0.0743258471296 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0486619137675 0.0701772020484 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0725974095537 0.128457276422 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0401302996221 0.0628817314937 64% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.2 14.3799401198 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.49 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.02 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.9 8.32208582834 107% => OK
difficult_words: 139.0 98.500998004 141% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.1389221557 126% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.