The following appeared in a letter from the owner of the Sunnyside Towers apartment complex to its manager.
"One month ago, all the showerheads in the first three buildings of the Sunnyside Towers complex were modified to restrict maximum water flow to one-third of what it used to be. Although actual readings of water usage before and after the adjustment are not yet available, the change will obviously result in a considerable savings for Sunnyside Corporation, since the corporation must pay for water each month. Except for a few complaints about low water pressure, no problems with showers have been reported since the adjustment. I predict that modifying showerheads to restrict water flow throughout all twelve buildings in the Sunnyside Towers complex will increase our profits even more dramatically.”
In this argument, the author expects that modified showerheads applied throughout all twelve buildings in Sunnyside Towers complex can dramatically increase their profits by restricting water water flow. This conclusion is based on the efficiency of using such showerheads in the first three buildings, the prediction of a considerable savings for Sunnyside Corporation, which pays for water each month and the preclusion of any problem because of almost no problems with showers reported. Whereas, lacking in cogent evidence, the validity of the author’s expectation is severely undermined.
As is mentioned by the author, the first three buildings have successfully modified all their showerheads to restrict maximum water flow. He apparently acquiesce in the authenticity of the measure if applied in the other buildings. Nonetheless, some possible difference between these buildings should not be neglected. For instance, water system in the other nine buildings might be incompatible of the modified showerheads so that they cannot effectively reduce maximum water flow. Therefore, the author should provide more details about the water supply system of the other buildings to ensure the practicality of applying the modified showerheads.
Even though the modified showerheads is effective in all twelve buildings, the reduction of water usage not necessarily leads to the considerable saving of Sunnyside Corporation. The author obviously assumes that less water flow generated by showerheads inevitably saves cost and brings about profits. Yet no one can deny the influence of other aspects contributing to the water usage as well as profit. For example, the pipeline system of the Sunnyside Towers complex is too obsolete to avoid extra waste, in which case, reducing water flow through showerheads cannot fundamentally decrease wastage or augment profits. Thus, we need more evidence concerning the water supply system and financial condition of Sunnyside Corporation to ensure that modifying showerheads certainly promotes its profits.
Apart from practical benefits modifying showerheads can bring to this company, the author should not rash to the assertion that the showers have no problems according to merely a few complaints reported about low water pressure since the adjustment. He clearly premises that a few reported complaints equals to a satisfying reflection of users, which appears to be unfounded. Actually, there may be a large number of users unsatisfied with the water pressure but do not bother to complain or failed to find proper ways to. In this case, several complaints can hardly indicate the real reply of users. Thereby, more general feedback or more comprehensive statistics are required to make the conclusion convincing.
Consequently, the author attempts to predict an increase in profit of Sunnyside Corporation by modifying showerheads to restrict water flow throughout all buildings in the Sunnyside Towers complex. Failing to present cogent evidence or necessary details, the reliability of this argument is undermined.
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Sentence: In this argument, the author expects that modified showerheads applied throughout all twelve buildings in Sunnyside Towers complex can dramatically increase their profits by restricting water water flow.
Description: The fragment water water contains a repeated word
Suggestion: Delete a possible duplicate word:
the modified showerheads is effective
the modified showerheads are effective
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argument 1 -- not OK. what if 'water system in the other nine buildings might be compatible'? This in not a loophole.
argument 2 -- you guess: 'the pipeline system of the Sunnyside Towers complex is too obsolete to avoid extra waste'. You can say: maybe people will take more time for shower.
argument 3 -- OK
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Need to analyze the structure of the statement and argue accordingly:
condition 1:
Although actual readings of water usage before and after the adjustment are not yet available, the change will obviously result in a considerable savings for Sunnyside Corporation, since the corporation must pay for water each month.
condition 2:
Except for a few complaints about low water pressure, no problems with showers have been reported since the adjustment.
conclusion:
I predict that modifying showerheads to restrict water flow throughout all twelve buildings in the Sunnyside Towers complex will increase our profits even more dramatically
read a good sample:
http://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/following-appeared-…
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 461 350
No. of Characters: 2558 1500
No. of Different Words: 223 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.634 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.549 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.948 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 209 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 169 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 130 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 90 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.05 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.599 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.342 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.551 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.109 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5