The marketing director recommends placing advertisements in the Exotics Monthly Magazine to increase the sales of the stores owned by Top Dog Pet and make larger profits. For his claims, he draws a parallel with the past success in sales of the Fish Emporium Stores. This may seem convincing, however, a closer analysis reveals holes in assumptions taken.
The first piece of evidence the author provides regards to sales of the Fish Emporium stores. It is based on the false presumption that both the dog and fish business are similar in aspects of advertising.
Secondly, the statistics provided tell us that the data of an increase in sales at Fish Emporium is five years old. A lot of change can happen in such a long period of time. Perhaps the Exotic Magazine is not as popular today as it was five years ago and the declining readership may not be interested in buying dogs or any pets. Also, a 15 percent increase in sales of Fish Emporium does not have statistical reliability. For instance, if the store had only 10 visitors per month it has gained nearly 18 extra visitors in the whole year. It is also nowhere mentioned whether the stores of fish were running in profit or not. Further, it is possible that other additional measures were taken by Fish emporium coupled with advertising and increased sales cannot be attributed to advertising alone.
Finally, the author draws the conclusion their stores would be able to reverse the recent trend of declining sales and make a profit again. This is an unwarranted statement as no proof is provided on the current budget of the Pet Stores. For the statement to be viable, cost of advertising should be covered in higher sales by the stores. But the reason for current declining trends could also be due to other factors such as poor quality of service, unhealthy and prosaic pets and bad reputation. If this is true, advertising won't help the store to increase its profits and measures should be taken to account for the complaints of customers, more exotic dogs must be bought.
In conclusion,
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Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 356 350
No. of Characters: 1669 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.344 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.688 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.565 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 119 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 87 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.778 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.909 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.302 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.527 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.053 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 159, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...lot of change can happen in such a long period of time. Perhaps the Exotic Magazine is not as ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, for instance, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 13.6137724551 22% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 55.5748502994 79% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1712.0 2260.96107784 76% => OK
No of words: 355.0 441.139720559 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.82253521127 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34067318298 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6406463775 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 204.123752495 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.540845070423 0.468620217663 115% => OK
syllable_count: 537.3 705.55239521 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.5538101238 57.8364921388 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.705882353 119.503703932 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8823529412 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.05882352941 5.70786347227 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.323937523988 0.218282227539 148% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0949336145511 0.0743258471296 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0791368646719 0.0701772020484 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.197664462074 0.128457276422 154% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0641135550928 0.0628817314937 102% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.68 12.5979740519 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.5 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 98.500998004 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.