The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. This shows that eating a substantial amount of fish can clearly prevent colds. Furthermore, since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, attendance levels will improve. Therefore, we recommend the daily use of a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The memo cites that East Meria digest an abundant amount of fish and seldom get cold. The author concludes that since colds are the major reason for absences from school and work, if people in West Meria also take in a large amount of fish, the absenteeism rate will decrease. However, there is insufficient information to support this argument and rendering the argument a little unconvincing.
First of all, the memo mentions that people in East Meria seldom get sick for their digestion of copious fish. Nevertheless, there is no causation between eating fish and healthy bodies. It is possible that there is a popular healthy lifestyle prevailing in the East Meria. The most citizens of East Meria are likely to exercise, sleep early, and take in balanced and healthy diet. Therefore, even if the inhabitants of West Meria also eat ample fish, they still might not reach the same seldom sick rate as people in East Meria without healthy lifestyle.
Secondly, the writer contends that it since the colds could affect people's attendance to their work or school, decreasing the cold rate can lead to increase their attendance. Nonetheless, the factors which cause colds in East Meria and West Meria might be different. There is no direct connection between the cold in East Meria and West Meria. Probably, residents in West Meria easily get cold because of the weather in West Meria is extreme cold and harsh. On the contrary, people in East Meria might seldom get cold since the weather in East Meria is pleasant and suitable for living.
Finally, the author recommends that residents should digest fish oil and then the absenteeism rate would decline. Notwithstanding, there is no obvious relation between fish and fish oil. Perhaps, people in East Meria are strong and robust as they take in abundant fish protein from the fish. Therefore, taking in fish oil might not reach the same result, healthy bodies, as taking in the whole part of fish.
In the conclusion, to bolster the argument, the author should provide more information about lifestyles as well as weathers in both cities. Additionally, the nutrition of whole fish and fish oil are important and should be offered, too.
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 367 350
No. of Characters: 1774 1500
No. of Different Words: 161 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.377 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.834 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.413 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 118 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.316 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.948 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.579 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.384 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.602 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.133 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5