Replacement of a children’s books section with a cafe was recommended by the business manager of Monarch Books. To support his argument, he mentions the results of a recent national census that indicate a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. The intention of Book and Been - a book store with a cafe -to open in the same city was also a base for this recommendation. However, scrutiny of each of these facts reveals that none of them lend credible support to the recommendation.
First of all, the argument rests on the assumption that the results of the recent national census were well-representative. In other words, it was based on the unstated assumptions that the demographics of the Collegeville followed the same patterns and trends as the nation-wide average. Nonetheless, the average does not always show the true picture. Consider a telling example, one man earns 1 dollar a month and another man makes 100 dollars a month, the average monthly income will be 55.5 dollars. Does it correctly represent the salaries of both men? Not at all. The same thing might occur in this situation. It is entirely possible that the percentage of the population under age ten in Collegeville was an aberration and actually growing. If it turns out to be the case, the manager’s recommendation will be significantly undermined.
Secondly, the author falsely assumes that the concept of Book and Bean book store will be popular with the citizens of Collegeville and that the in-store cafe will be a significant factor for current Monarch Books customers to change their preferences. Since we are not given any market and customer research nor any sales or customer number statistics of both stores, we cannot draw a sound conclusion. Perhaps, the opening of an in-store cafe will damage Monarch Books’ sales and popularity with people as it will no longer be unique. What is more, the cafe in the bookstore usually makes this place busier and noisier - not all current customers of Monarch Books might like such a change in the store’s environment and atmosphere.
Thirdly, even if the newly-opened cafe becomes successful, the increased in sales was predicted quite hastily. Consider the budget required for building and furnishing the cafe, the salaries of baristas, cooks and other supporting personnel, the money required for buying the products and delivery, and so on. Unless the investment analysis is conducted where all the potential costs and benefits are estimated, no conclusions should be made on its possible profitability. Claiming that a new cafe will bring more profits, in fact, is just guessing since there are no hard numbers provided. If the cost of the opening was underestimated, while the expected profits were overestimated, then the recommendation of the business manager will be considerably undermined.
In the final analysis, the Monarch Books business manager’s recommendation is unconvincing as it stands. His reasoning is significantly flawed as it lacks crucial information. To bolster this recommendation, the author must provide the financial statistics of both stores and well as research or study dedicated to the preferences of book buyers that would prove that the opening of an in-store cafe is the only way to ward off competition and increase sales. Moreover, he must also consider conducting investment analysis and suggest the implementation of his idea only if the results of the analysis will indicate the prevailing advantages of it.
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Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 568 350
No. of Characters: 2879 1500
No. of Different Words: 278 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.882 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.069 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.992 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 203 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 173 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 123 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 73 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.846 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.968 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.577 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.25 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.449 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.066 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, first, however, if, moreover, nonetheless, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, well, while, in fact, first of all, in other words, what is more
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 11.1786427146 188% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2976.0 2260.96107784 132% => OK
No of words: 568.0 441.139720559 129% => OK
Chars per words: 5.23943661972 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.88187981987 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.1691417649 2.78398813304 114% => OK
Unique words: 288.0 204.123752495 141% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.507042253521 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 945.0 705.55239521 134% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.3842234186 57.8364921388 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.461538462 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.8461538462 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.42307692308 5.70786347227 113% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.240620721079 0.218282227539 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0656388823459 0.0743258471296 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0756719838723 0.0701772020484 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.134119313429 0.128457276422 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0468973480031 0.0628817314937 75% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.11 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.71 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 145.0 98.500998004 147% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.