The author's argument asserts that recent study on rhesus monkeys unfolded the function of special hormone between humans and monkeys and also its correlation to first-time mothers and proposes some supports. Nonetheless, the ideas and reasons presented in the argument are not convincing and in what follows the most compelling controversies will be addressed.
First, the reading passage mentions that eighteen monkeys are considered as experimental samples for further results. However, the number of conclusions from those small community is not reliable. Indeed, if scholars want to connect the level of activities in animals to the humans, they should examine a lot of species. In this regard, a new experimental data, from Stanford University, shows that every community sample should at least contain 100 species. Hence, the low amount of samples is a major defect in the argument and should be at least acknowledged by the author, perhaps improved upon by increasing the number of samples, in order to improve the argument as a whole.
Second, the author's argument asserts that the function of the hormone cortisol in monkey is the same as human beings and it yields high activity. Nevertheless, by having a look at common and most reliable experiments it can be shows that mice results are more comparable to the humans that monkeys. Actually, whenever a researcher wants to validate his or her numerical or analytical results, he or she uses a mouse as experimental sample. Even though that at the first glance, it seems that monkeys are genetically the nearest animal to humans, but, mice are common. Therefore, monkeys' results does not meet the standard for experimental validation.
Third, it has been discussed that in comparison to the monkeys who have had offspring before, first-time mother, during pregnancy, have higher level of cortisol. However, the convulsion and complexity of body is more than that to be obtain such superficial results. Admittedly, billions of millions of cells, during pregnancy period, are doing activity and the result may belong to other thing. For instance, for a first-time pregnant some other features usually appear like facial spot and laziness which has root in stress and feeling that has never been experienced. Therefore, another flaw in the argument that should be answered is the connection between body structure and cortisol which rests on shallow inferences.
In conclusion, as the above-mentioned examples have illustrated, it is not convincing to allot the activities of monkeys to cortisol without following standard rules like enough communal samples. Plus, the author’s argument is laid on shallow foundation which poses many uncertainty and ambiguousness, needed to be unblemished.
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Essay evaluation report
samples:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-2-outline
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 432 350
No. of Characters: 2262 1500
No. of Different Words: 230 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.559 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.236 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.803 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 187 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 144 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 97 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.737 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.488 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.947 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.289 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.525 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.038 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 5, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
The authors argument asserts that recent study on r...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 13, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...e the argument as a whole. Second, the authors argument asserts that the function of t...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 87, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'allotting'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'convince' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: allotting
... have illustrated, it is not convincing to allot the activities of monkeys to cortisol w...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 271, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun uncertainty seems to be countable; consider using: 'many uncertainties'.
Suggestion: many uncertainties
... laid on shallow foundation which poses many uncertainty and ambiguousness, needed to be unblemi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, hence, however, if, look, may, nevertheless, nonetheless, second, so, therefore, third, at least, for instance, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2327.0 2260.96107784 103% => OK
No of words: 432.0 441.139720559 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.38657407407 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55901411391 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.93049978737 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 204.123752495 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.555555555556 0.468620217663 119% => OK
syllable_count: 717.3 705.55239521 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.7094604637 57.8364921388 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.473684211 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7368421053 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.05263157895 5.70786347227 141% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.128755130912 0.218282227539 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0393667951229 0.0743258471296 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0462686940807 0.0701772020484 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0767029970749 0.128457276422 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0345981561407 0.0628817314937 55% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 48.3550499002 84% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.28 12.5979740519 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.41 8.32208582834 113% => OK
difficult_words: 128.0 98.500998004 130% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.