The author of the passage asserts that a study with 18 rhesus monkeys' individual level of simulation is found to be commensurate with the birth order. Also the author exhibits the fact that the eldest sibling possesed way too higher cortisol generated under various stimulating situations. Apparently, Monkeys and humans are compared to corroborate the facts discovered. However, the author failed to influence his statements with more data and factors. I am quite dogmatic about the research conducted and allude few alternative pontification to the author's claim.
First point is am little convinced about the demographic criteria availed for the research. Merely 18 rhesus monkeys' behaviour cannot account to the entire population of the monkeys. It is surprisingly weird to conclude a unique behaviour of a sibling based on researches on a very meagre numbers. I would undermine the conclusion made by the author without considering a lion's share of the monkey's population in the world. I am sure about various other factors also influencing the hormone triggered in both monkeys and humans. Hormones are basically a chemical reaction that shoots up under a certain circumstance. It is universal to all the living things of the world. Eating habits play a predominant role in kick starting the hormones. Had the author provided details about the eating routine of the fauna, he could have plausibly account for the claims he have described. Humans and monkeys both are susceptible to various emotional imbalances. Despite, the fact that pregnancy produced fluctuating levels of cortisols in the order the pregnancy occurs, the author's lacuna about the psychological and mental variations enervate his claims about the research.
Furthermore, It could be the basic nature of a human or monkey to react actively for stimulating environment. It is hard to derive the nature of humans or monkeys based on a certain aspect or a hormone. Suppose the second child is exposed to various physical and verbal abuses on a day to day basis, I am sure about the hormonal imbalance the child must face growing up as a teenager. Anxiety and Depressions are opinionated to have influence on the personal behaviour of a person or a animal. For instance when a man leaves his house, his deary pet dog falls anxious about this arrival. It waits the entire day for the master's return. Hence, the dog fights anxiety and depression the whole day which could surely affect the hormonal cycle of the pet.
To recapitulate, various other factors must also be considered by the author before concluding about the holistic behaviour of monkey and human siblings. He must provide statements and facts inclusive of the plausible claims mentioned.
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e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.0 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 442 350
No. of Characters: 2247 1500
No. of Different Words: 231 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.585 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.084 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.773 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 184 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 130 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 90 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.68 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.234 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.276 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.276 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.051 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 152, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...o be commensurate with the birth order. Also the author exhibits the fact that the e...
^^^^
Line 2, column 289, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'number'?
Suggestion: number
...ng based on researches on a very meagre numbers. I would undermine the conclusion made ...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 391, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'monkeys'' or 'monkey's'?
Suggestion: monkeys'; monkey's
...ithout considering a lions share of the monkeys population in the world. I am sure abou...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 862, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'has'.
Suggestion: has
...ave plausibly account for the claims he have described. Humans and monkeys both are ...
^^^^
Line 2, column 1064, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... in the order the pregnancy occurs, the authors lacuna about the psychological and ment...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 484, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...n the personal behaviour of a person or a animal. For instance when a man leaves ...
^
Line 4, column 237, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sive of the plausible claims mentioned.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, apparently, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, second, so, for instance, on the whole
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2283.0 2260.96107784 101% => OK
No of words: 442.0 441.139720559 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.16515837104 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58517132086 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84471562623 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 204.123752495 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.515837104072 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 732.6 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 37.6736300348 57.8364921388 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.32 119.503703932 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.68 23.324526521 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.84 5.70786347227 67% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.152932098601 0.218282227539 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0449044074896 0.0743258471296 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.06244319387 0.0701772020484 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.100444680046 0.128457276422 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0512194271073 0.0628817314937 81% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 14.3799401198 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 45.76 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.41 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.48 8.32208582834 114% => OK
difficult_words: 140.0 98.500998004 142% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.