"A recent study rating 300 male and female advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than six hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. On the basis of this study, we recommend that businesses hire only people who need less than six hours of sleep per night."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author alleges that the businesses should hire only people who sleep less than six hours per night because in the previous survey, the executives who succeeded and produced higher profit were strongly associated with the number of sleep hour less than six hours per night. However, the number of sleep hour sounds hardly logical that the reduced amount of sleep would always lead to succeed at people’s work. The author should investigate and evaluate other possible factors that are reasonably associated with the successful executives than just the amount of sleep per night.
By reducing the amount of sleep, it does not automatically bring people to be successful in their work. However, in order to complete work in time or produce higher amount of work, it is often necessary to lessen sleep to finish work on time. Even though it sounds understandable if a successful person sleeps a short amount of hour because he/she is passionate about work and wants to complete their work within the deadline. However, it does not sound logical when it comes as all the people who sleep less than six hours would succeed for their work. The author should be careful in the result of the survey. The association founding eludes that successful people might even shorten sleep hours in order to be more productive, but the association is not a causal relationship that the sleep hours do not always lead everyone successful. Therefore, it would be dangerous to hire by looking at their hours of sleep per night.
There are many other characteristics or variations that successful people frequently have. One of example can be the difference of personality. It is important to have diligent personalities to be successful in work. Because of the executives’ personalities, they are more likely to be eager to finish the work so it often comes to shorten the amount of sleep and other leisure time to be done with task. Also, the degree of work aptitude and how much people feel their jobs fit with them would increase work productivities that eventually may lead them successful career.
Additionally, Scientific research has been showing that sleep deprivation would cause a number of health issue and decrease the ability of task complement and attention. Therefore, there are some people who sleep more than six hours but are still successful at work. However, the author did not look at those people who slept more than six hours. Individuals have different biological condition. Some people feel refresh with a short amount of sleep while some other people should take longer than six hours to feel fully recharged. Therefore, without considering other feasible factors that may contribute to people who are successful at work, the association between the average hour of sleep and being successful at work cannot be guaranteed.
In sum, looking at only one variable can be dangerous to conclude any results even though the association turns out strongly correlation between hours of sleep and the degree of being successful at the firm. Furthermore, shortening hours of sleep does not cause people to be productive but to become more inattentive according to recent scientific research. The author should scrutiny any other variable that are logically related to the executive who yielded higher profit and faster growth than others.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
this is not an issue essay.
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samples:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/following-appeared…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 549 350
No. of Characters: 2742 1500
No. of Different Words: 222 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.841 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.995 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.64 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 192 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 125 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 68 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.875 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.675 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.542 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.357 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.52 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.119 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 453, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...so, the degree of work aptitude and how much people feel their jobs fit with them wo...
^^^^
Line 4, column 87, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[5]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun health seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much health', 'a good deal of health'.
Suggestion: much health; a good deal of health
...wing that sleep deprivation would cause a number of health issue and decrease the ability of task ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, look, may, so, still, therefore, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 73.0 55.5748502994 131% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2805.0 2260.96107784 124% => OK
No of words: 548.0 441.139720559 124% => OK
Chars per words: 5.11861313869 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.83832613839 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74908077769 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 225.0 204.123752495 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.410583941606 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 861.3 705.55239521 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.8327283963 57.8364921388 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.875 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.8333333333 23.324526521 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.125 5.70786347227 55% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 8.20758483034 195% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.262561837719 0.218282227539 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0926794379659 0.0743258471296 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0659333515361 0.0701772020484 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.176088076039 0.128457276422 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0657260404243 0.0628817314937 105% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 14.3799401198 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.64 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 98.500998004 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.