Techno corporation is our top pick for the investment this term. We urge all our clients to invest in this new company. For the first time in ten years, a company that has developed a stellite technology has been approvd by the FTA to compete with current satellite provider. The company is techno corporation. A consumer survey last year indicated that over eighty percent of the respondents were dissatisfied with the current satellite television provider and would want to switch to another provider if the industry were not monopoly.Thus , the new venture of technocorporation into satellite televsion will prove to be highly profitable for those who invest now.
The author in this editorial of a newspaper concludes that investing in Techcorportaion is the top pick. He implies that investing in the Techcorporation will prove to be highly profitable and provides certain reasons for the same. At first glance, these reasons sound convincing, but as we look deeper they are based on various assumptions that need to be answered.
Firstly, the author states that it is first time that a company has developed satellite technology which has been approved by the FTA. It is no-where mentioned about the quality of the technology developed. It may be possible that developed technology is just upto a mark to achieve the approval and lacks behind the current competitor. As it has taken ten years to develop such a technology, we understand that the current competitor company is way too established and to take away business from such a company would be much difficult than it is sought to be. Thus, investing in Techcorporation for the gaining profits should contentious.
Next, the author mentions about a survey which proved that 80 percent customers are dissatisfied. He mentions that the consumer survey was taken last year, thus it may have been possible that over this period the current company took up this dissatisfaction of consumers as their priority to work with. It is possible that the number of consumers unhappy previously turned out satisfied with the corrections the competitor firm did in a year. Thus, the results of survey sound specious as they fail to explain the reasons behind the dissatisfaction of consumers and also, the lack of evidence that no steps were taken by the current satellite provider to satisfy the consumers in the previous year.
Furthermore, the author fails to mention the survey details. He should have stated where the survey was taken or how many consumers were involved in the survey. If the number of people who took the survey was less, it cannot be successfully applied to all the consumers. It may happen that the persons involved in the survey were inclusive of people who were dissatisfied only and other who were happy were not approached for.The level of how much dissatisfied the consumers were must have been mentioned. The fact that the consumer survey may be unfair, needs to be explained to make the conclusion stated in the editorial to be reasonable.
To summarize up, the answers to the questions asked above may help to prove that the investment in the Techcorporation is highly profitable. But as for now, the conclusion is based on fallacious assumptions which debilitate the argument further.
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK. Need to argue against the conclusion: the new venture of technocorporation into satellite televsion will prove to be highly profitable for those who invest now.
suggested:
It may be the case that Techcorporations satellite technology was only recently approved by the FTA and is years away from ever becoming a viable product ready for the market. Additionally, it may take years before Techcorporation begins to establish brand recognition and a significant customer base, thus extending the period before investors would see high profits. More information should be provided on Techcorporations timeline, be it in a gant plot or simple milestones they aim to achieve. This information would make it more evident how ready Techcorporation is to take on the market and see major profits.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 433 350
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No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.562 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.915 4.6
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No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 150 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.789 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.892 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.31 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.559 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.154 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5