Argument Essay:->
To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
The argument that Buckingham's college attractive new dormitories will attract more students and increase their enrollment rate seems to be tenable at first glance. However, the conclusion relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence.
To begin with, here author's argument that basic housing facilities of some college attract more students seem to be incongruous. Students get attracted more towards college if it has less tuition fees or it's better job placements or the environment of the city. After considering all these needs students apply to a certain college. It is difficult for a college to attract students only on the basis of housing facilities. As various frills of a college such as the beauty of construction, the garden area, the gym is of the least concern for an applicant to get enrolled into a college.
It is also inappropriate have a dogma that if they provide better housing facilities then there enrollment count will grow and double in next 50 years. This argument also contains fallacies that it is difficult to predict the growth rate for next 50 years. Last year when the United Kingdom government changed, they added some new rules, for e.g. a student who is coming in UK will stay there for only 3months after completing his education. Previously, after completing post graduation a student can stay for 2 years in the respective country and in between that time period one has to find his job. Due to these changes enrollment counts of different colleges altered afterwards.
In addition, it is also possible that there are multiple localities which are not far away from the college where the rent is still lesser than as compared to the apartments nearby college and the student commute to the college from these localities using local transport facilities. If students started taking apartment in these localities, then localities nearby college may decrease their rent because it is difficult for them to rent out their apartment and recover their maintenance cost. Student can also live on room sharing basis, thereby further reducing their rents.
Furthermore, here author did not provide any evidence which represents that the college might invest more than required funds in building the new dormitories thereby increasing the rent of the dormitories, which might be equal to the rent taken outside the campus
To conclude, the writer is not necessarily be wrong to assert that if College provided better housing facilities than there enrollment count will increase. But it is difficult to consider that the housing facility of any college will be able to attract students more. If environment or food facility in that town is inadequate or may be the Tuition fee of that college is high then student might not apply at all. So under these circumstances, author fails to justify the argument that student will enroll only in those colleges where they have good on-campus housing facilities rather than having good teaching facilities.
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Sentence: The argument that Buckingham's college attractive new dormitories will attract more students and increase their enrollment rate seems to be tenable at first glance.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to college and attractive
Sentence: To begin with, here author's argument that basic housing facilities of some college attract more students seem to be incongruous.
Description: The fragment college attract more is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace attract with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Sentence: It is also inappropriate have a dogma that if they provide better housing facilities then there enrollment count will grow and double in next 50 years.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a verb 'to have', uninflected present tense, infinitive or
Suggestion: Refer to inappropriate and have
Description: An existential there is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to there and enrollment
Sentence: In addition, it is also possible that there are multiple localities which are not far away from the college where the rent is still lesser than as compared to the apartments nearby college and the student commute to the college from these localities using local transport facilities.
Description: The fragment student commute to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace commute with verb, past participle
Sentence: To conclude, the writer is not necessarily be wrong to assert that if College provided better housing facilities than there enrollment count will increase.
Description: An existential there is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to there and enrollment
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 490 350
No. of Characters: 2464 1500
No. of Different Words: 238 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.705 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.029 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.638 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 177 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 150 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 91 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.547 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.313 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.57 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.078 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5