Author refers to the recent study of dura-Socks that company is spending money on Endura manufacturing process. Company advertised that due to this process socks have durability of two years. However author also gives another reference to study that this study shows Customers purchase Dura-Socks every three months. then author proceeds with survey which shows that dura socks are available in stylish appearance and in many colors. Hence he come to conclusion that he can increase the profit by discontinuing use of Endura manufacturing process. This conclusion contains many flaws which undermines the conclusion.
Firstly author says that 'recent study', this does not give specific time related information. Author should mention about how many years or days ago study has been conducted. Also to convenience with the argument author should give more detailed information to this study like which kind of study it was? What is the main purpose behind it? This study is conducted to which area? what is the standard of this study? These question's answer are helpful in evaluating the conclusion of study.
Further author says that customer suggest that company is spending more money on Endura manufacturing process. But as we know very few customers know how socks are manufactured in industry? so to have this argument specific evidence related to customers is required. And how this process causes socks to have durability of two years? This can be explained if author could have given more information related to Endura Manufacturing process.
Moreover author refers to another study which says that customers purchase socks after three months only. Again author has not provided any information related to study which can support this conclusion so we can conclude that Dura socks have more or less durability. If only three months is is the durability of socks then it is too low. But there are some people who only wants to use use and throw type things so this need to be mention the area and types of customers of socks Again author has given reference to the survey in northeastern USA cities. This survey says that Dura socks stylish and available in more colors. But this has not any relation with durability of socks. Also how all these things are related to the profit of Dura socks?
Because here author has not given any information related to the value of socks , revenue and profit due to Endura manufacturing process and if Endura manufacturing process has not been used then what is these parameters? If author wants to say that if socks are more stylish and available in colors then customers will more attract, this can not be the case because many customers want durability also. So this need to be mentioned in which kind of customers socks are marketed? then what is the preference of these customers?
In all to conclude about the profit author can give more information about product and market. Here author has given two different studies and one survey but how these are related to the profit?
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Sentence: Hence he come to conclusion that he can increase the profit by discontinuing use of Endura manufacturing process.
Description: The fragment he come to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace come with verb, past tense
Sentence: Further author says that customer suggest that company is spending more money on Endura manufacturing process.
Description: The fragment customer suggest that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace suggest with verb, past tense
Sentence: If only three months is is the durability of socks then it is too low.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb 'to be', present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to is and is
Sentence: But there are some people who only wants to use use and throw type things so this need to be mention the area and types of customers of socks
Description: The fragment use use contains a repeated word
Suggestion: Delete a possible duplicate word:
flaws:
No. of Words: 504 350 (write the essay in half an hour)
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 504 350
No. of Characters: 2482 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.738 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.925 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.52 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 166 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 116 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.79 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.593 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.344 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.541 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.116 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5