The following appeared in a letter from a homeowner to a friend.
"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and Fitch Realty—Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago I listed my home with Fitch, and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams Realty."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
At first glance, the argument that Adams sells house quickly at a good price seems to make sense. However, after a close inspection, it is clear that the statement is lacking of convincing evidence and the author merely replys on unproven assumptions.
First the author claims that Adams has forty real estate agents and Fitch has twenty-five. Yet the statement does not indicate the number of employees in each firm. If Fitch had smaller number of employees working in higher efficiency than Adams' employees, there would be point that Fitch need to hire more premises. Furthermore, whether or not the employees working on a part-time basis is irrelevant to their performance as part-time employees, according to the results of social survey, can work as well as others, or even better.
Second, the arguement that Adams's last revenue was much more than Fitch does not explicity indicate whether it is a general revenue or the sum of several catagories. Becasue there is a possibility that Fitch could have more sales than Adams in a general terms. In addition to lacking of coherence of revenue, author does not explain whether the number is deduced before tax since different firms have different tax codes and it will results in a different profits.
Third, the statement refers to author's personal experience of two firms in two different periods and claims that Adams did the business more efficiently with better result. However, the author ignored the fact that general economic enviroment can effect people's consumption, particularly in housing market, in a remarkable level. Recession might lead to the collapse of sales in property business. Furthermore, author did not examplify how good the price that adams sold and what must be addressed is what was worth a good fortune ten years ago might not cost a peny nowaday due to inflation.
In conclusion, the statement is merely based on superficial results and neglects more important evidence underlying. More importantly, the assumptions author made is lacking of explicit details and relevant explanations. For these reasons,among others, the statment need to be further reinforced by considering more generally.
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Sentence: In addition to lacking of coherence of revenue, author does not explain whether the number is deduced before tax since different firms have different tax codes and it will results in a different profits.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to will and results
Sentence: Second, the arguement that Adams's last revenue was much more than Fitch does not explicity indicate whether it is a general revenue or the sum of several catagories.
Error: catagories Suggestion: categories
Error: arguement Suggestion: argument
Error: explicity Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: However, the author ignored the fact that general economic enviroment can effect people's consumption, particularly in housing market, in a remarkable level.
Error: enviroment Suggestion: environment
Sentence: Furthermore, author did not examplify how good the price that adams sold and what must be addressed is what was worth a good fortune ten years ago might not cost a peny nowaday due to inflation.
Error: nowaday Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: examplify Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: For these reasons,among others, the statment need to be further reinforced by considering more generally.
Error: statment Suggestion: statement
flaws:
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Attribute Value Ideal
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Category: Very Good Excellent
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No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
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No. of Words: 351 350
No. of Characters: 1789 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.328 4.7
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 7.949 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.688 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.327 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.588 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.069 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5