An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
The given recommendation attempts to address an important health concern--that of vitamin A deficiency--in the country of Tagus. It has been suggested that the nation's government should take measures to promote a new type of millet, fortified with vitamnin A, engineered by an international development organization, to combat the said deficiency. However, the recommendation needs to be evaluated in the light of certain important questions to discern whether the suggestion is likely to have the predicted result.
One of the stated assumptions in the argument is that the people of Tagus will readily adoppt the new breed of millet. However, there has been no evidence to support this claim. The question whether there could there be any change in taste, texture, colour, or other characteristics of the grain due to the fortification, that might not suit the people's palate, has been left unanswered.
Further, it has been suggested that farmers will be subsidized so that they can bear the cost of the more expensive modified seeds. However, it is not clear whether the subsidy will be borne by the country's government, or external agencies. As it has been mentioned that the country is impoverished, it is possible that revenues in the State coffers are not enough to fund this subsidy for the farmers. The bearer of this additional expense needs to be identified before launching this ambitious project.
In addition to the economic concerns, certain practical factors also warrant due consideration. Will the new seeds be robust to inclement weather, pests and rodents? Will they have any additional requirement with respect to water, soil and fertilizers? It has been naively assumed that the farmers will readily agree to farm this new variety of this seed: this assumption needs to be validated.
Finally, it needs to be ascertained whether the government of the nation is entirely convinced about the benefits of this engineered grain. The suggestion that "the government should do everything to promote this new millet" will only make sense when scientific studies and empirical evidence endorsing the actual benefits of the new grain are presented to the government, and the latter finds it viable to introduce this grain into the country.
The concern regarding the deficiency of vitamin A is an important one, and it is heartening that an international organization has taken the initiative to develop a fortified grain to combat this. However, the benefits of this new grain need to be established by disinterested studies. Moreover, the target population, namely consumers and farmers should be taken into confidence and their preferences need to be taken into account before introducing this engineered millet. The government of the country also needs to be convinced about the benefits of the grain, before it can take any measures to promote the new breed of millet to its populace.
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Comments
I did write the essay in half
I did write the essay in half an hour. Could you please explain the evaluation as well? Thanks for the score!
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flaws:
No. of Words: 469 350 (less words in real exams. write the essay in half an hour)
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 469 350
No. of Characters: 2384 1500
No. of Different Words: 205 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.654 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.083 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.872 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 177 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 146 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 71 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.45 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.463 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.55 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.569 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.054 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5