Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.

Essay topics:

Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.
Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.

The issue of whether or not governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to preserve nation’s cultural traditions is a contentious one. While each side has its strengths and weaknesses, I mostly disagree with the statement for several reasons. Primarily, priority of governments should be satisfying the essential needs of all cities in order to keep peace stable. In addition, nation’s cultural traditions can be preserved in other ways rather than directly spending money.

First of all, first mission of the governments is not to protect cultural values but to ensure society’s peace. Otherwise, some inequities which may lead to riots will occur between major cities and rural regions because of unequal living standards. To illustrate let us look at the example of Turkish government’s last year annual financial plan. While preparing the plan, executives allocated $4 million for cultural events in Ankara, capital city of Turkey, one of the major cities of Turkey, rather than spending money to restore infrastructure of Ankara’s rural side. As a result, when the rain drops started to fall ground, flood occurred through the highway, and the traffic was stuck. In this circumstance, it is pretty obvious that spending money wisely for more urgent works is the plausible one.

Furthermore, spending money recklessly is not the only choice to preserve cultural traditions of a nation unless there is an emergent situation. Since governments have power to do change in any field, they should find better ways to finance cultural traditions such as organizing paid events. Scotland, for example, turned all of the historical palaces in country into museums, so, right now, the government does not need to care about financial status of palaces or their restoring costs. Hence, all the evidence above demonstrates that while some structural reforms exist to financially support traditional events, it is meaningless to spread money unconsciously.

Admittedly, some may argue that cities are the places where traditions are generated and preserved and that is why extra fund is necessary to keep tradition alive. This is true especially when it comes to teaching the traditions to new generations. Brazil, for example, organizes Rio Fest with $3 million budget every year to sustain its traditions. However, the above does not constitute a sufficient support to claim that every nation must spend millions of dollars to protect its culture, because this festival brings a lot of tourists from other countries, and it is financially more beneficial for Brazil.

In conclusion, although governments should ensure that cultural traditions of a nation are protected, they must do it in a sustainable way, and their priorities should be based on basic needs of society. In fact, as I have mentioned above, governments have ability do any financial revolution in culture management. In this way, preserving the traditions would be guaranteed with ease.

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Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 14, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
The issue of whether or not governments must ensure that their majo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 344, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...imarily, priority of governments should be satisfying the essential needs of all cities in or...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 405, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...preparing the plan, executives allocated million for cultural events in Ankara, c...
^^
Line 3, column 407, Rule ID: NODT_DOZEN[1]
Message: Use simply: 'a million'.
Suggestion: a million
...eparing the plan, executives allocated million for cultural events in Ankara, capital ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 324, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...d events. Scotland, for example, turned all of the historical palaces in country into muse...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 294, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...il, for example, organizes Rio Fest with million budget every year to sustain its...
^^
Line 7, column 296, Rule ID: NODT_DOZEN[1]
Message: Use simply: 'a million'.
Suggestion: a million
..., for example, organizes Rio Fest with million budget every year to sustain its tradit...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 119, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a sustainable way" with adverb for "sustainable"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...a nation are protected, they must do it in a sustainable way, and their priorities should be based o...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 317, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ncial revolution in culture management. In this way, preserving the traditions wou...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, hence, however, look, may, so, while, for example, in addition, in conclusion, in fact, such as, as a result, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.5258426966 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.4196629213 113% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 14.8657303371 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 33.0505617978 85% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 58.6224719101 111% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 12.9106741573 85% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2561.0 2235.4752809 115% => OK
No of words: 473.0 442.535393258 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.41437632135 5.05705443957 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66353547975 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95813451842 2.79657885939 106% => OK
Unique words: 261.0 215.323595506 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.551797040169 0.4932671777 112% => OK
syllable_count: 784.8 704.065955056 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.10617977528 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.38483146067 160% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.5936923764 60.3974514979 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.952380952 118.986275619 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5238095238 23.4991977007 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.0 5.21951772744 134% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 7.80617977528 115% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.414579501508 0.243740707755 170% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.116050655648 0.0831039109588 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.134597072732 0.0758088955206 178% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.238857367488 0.150359130593 159% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.116630505812 0.0667264976115 175% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 14.1392134831 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 48.8420337079 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.1743820225 108% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.39 12.1639044944 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.0 8.38706741573 107% => OK
difficult_words: 128.0 100.480337079 127% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.