The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of a manufacturing company."During the past year, workers at our newly opened factory reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries. Panoply produces products

The vice president of Alta Manufacturing contends that on-the-job accidents can be reduced and productivity can be increased if the work shifts for the employees are shortened by one hour each. The arguer provides the example of the nearby Panoply Industries where the work shifts are an hour shorter than those of Alta Manufacturing and the frequency of on-the-job accidents are lesser than those of Alta Manufacturing by thirty percent. Additionally, the arguer provides the assumption that fatigue and sleep deprivation are a major cause of on-the-job accidents. This assumption leads the arguer to conclude that the employees will utilize the extra hour for getting an adequate amount of sleep, thereby reducing the chances of on-the-job accidents. There are a number of fallacies in the given argument that render the argument indefensible. The arguer has completely ignored the other factors that may be responsible for a higher rate of on-the-job accidents in Alta Manufacturing as compared to Panoply Industries. It is likely that the quality of the machines being used by Panoply Industries is much better than those of Alta Manufacturing. Moreover, it is likely that the workers of Panoply Industries are well trained for handling the machines and the workers at Alta Manufacturing are not skilled enough to handle the machinery. Additionally, the arguer does not shed light on the nature of the work being carried out in Alta Manufacturing and Panoply Industries. There is a possibility that the work at Panoply Industries is largely automated. Hence, the workers at Panoply Industries may not be directly handling the machines leading to a lower rate of on-the-job accidents. Therefore, the argument cannot be substantiated by the evidence provided by the arguer in the form of a comparison between the rates of on-the-job accidents of these two different companies.

Even if the working conditions of Alta Manufacturing and Panoply Industries are comparable, it cannot be said with conviction that sleep deprivation leads to on-the-job accidents. The arguer has not presented any evidence that establishes this link and hence, it is difficult for the reader to digest the fact that the main reasons for on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation. Moreover, the arguer has overlooked the fact that it is not necessary that the extra hour provided to the workers by shortening their work shifts will be utilized by them for sleeping. It is likely that the workers may use the additional hour for some other work and they would be as sleep deprived as they had been when they had longer work shifts. Hence, the whole purpose of shortening their work shifts would be defeated.
Lastly, relating productivity to on-the-job accidents is a highly unreasonable assumption. The productivity of a company is dependent on various factors and on-the-job accidents are the least likely to feature in the list of such factors. The productivity of a company can be increased by training its workers, maintaining a good supply of raw materials, adhering to deadlines, utilizing a good management department, improving the types of machinery used and the technology being utilized. Therefore, the given argument has been considerably weakened by the assumption that a lesser number of on-the-job accidents will increase productivity. The arguer could have substantiated his recommendation by providing evidence that proved the link between sleep deprivation, fatigue and on-the-job accidents. Moreover, there is a requirement of evidence that proves beyond doubt that the additional hour provided by shortening the work shifts will be utilized by the workers for sleeping. In the absence of such evidence, the recommendation made by the arguer is not justified.To begin with, it is assumed that the shorter work shifts for workers are the main reason why Panoply had 30% fewer accidents. This assumption has to be carefully examined as there might be other reasons why fewer accidents occurred in Panoply. For example, there could be fewer workers working in Panoply than in Quiot. Or the working conditions in Quiot are simply more dangerous leading to higher risks of accidents. If these are the main reasons leading to the gap in the number of accidents, the recommendation would not help close the gap as reducing the shift hours would neither change the size of workforce in Quiot nor make the working conditions safer.

这一段先提出一个假设 然后探索其他的可能挑战这个假设的可能性 最后总结在什么情况下这个结论不成立 It is also assumed that by shortening the shifts, the Quiot workers would necessarily get more sleep and not feel tired during the work. There are many factors that may affect the amount of sleep and the energy level of the workers. For example, some workers may prefer certain lifestyles that lead to sleep deprivation, such as staying up watching TV or hanging out with friends in the bars until mid-nights. Or some workers may have to take other part-time jobs to earn more money due to the low salary paid by Quiot, which will reduce the sleeping time and energy level of the workers. If sleep deprivation and fatigue are caused by factors other than long hours, then adopting the proposal would not achieve the desired objectives.

提出另一个假设 然后探索其他的可能挑战这个假设的可能性 最后总结在什么情况下这个结论不成立 The third assumption implicitly made is that helping the workers get enough sleep would necessarily reduce the number of accidents. Even if reducing work shift hours can get the workers to sleep more, the recommended measure may not reduce the number of accidents. There could be other factors that cause the accidents at Quiot. For example, the workers may not receive enough training about the safety protocols or the supervisors are not competent in enforcing the rules about safe operation. Or the machinery in Quiot needs upgrading to improve the safety and reduce risk of accidents. If the assumption that addressing sleep deprivation and fatigue would reduce accidents does not hold, the recommendation should not be accepted.

提出第三个假设 然后探索其他的可能挑战这个假设的可能性 最后总结在什么情况下这个结论不成立 Despite the good intention of this recommendation, we need more information about why Quiot had more accidents, what factors caused the accidents in Quiot and how shortening work shifts would affect the sleep amount and energy level of Quiot workers in order to examine the assumptions discussed above and evaluate the soundness of the argument.

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Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 1070, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: To
...ion made by the arguer is not justified.To begin with, it is assumed that the shor...
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Line 7, column 49, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...假设 然后探索其他的可能挑战这个假设的可能性 最后总结在什么情况下这个结论不成立 It is also assumed that by shortening th...
^^
Line 12, column 46, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...假设 然后探索其他的可能挑战这个假设的可能性 最后总结在什么情况下这个结论不成立 Despite the good intention of this recom...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, hence, if, lastly, look, may, moreover, so, then, therefore, third, well, as to, for example, such as, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 52.0 19.5258426966 266% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 34.0 12.4196629213 274% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 27.0 14.8657303371 182% => OK
Relative clauses : 28.0 11.3162921348 247% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 51.0 33.0505617978 154% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 129.0 58.6224719101 220% => Less preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 37.0 12.9106741573 287% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 5663.0 2235.4752809 253% => Less number of characters wanted.
No of words: 1017.0 442.535393258 230% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.56833824975 5.05705443957 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.64716189233 4.55969084622 124% => OK
Word Length SD: 4.84332265851 2.79657885939 173% => OK
Unique words: 349.0 215.323595506 162% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.343166175025 0.4932671777 70% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1645.2 704.065955056 234% => syllable counts are too long.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 6.24550561798 144% => OK
Article: 20.0 4.99550561798 400% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 40.0 20.2370786517 198% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 23.0359550562 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 73.7185695738 60.3974514979 122% => OK
Chars per sentence: 141.575 118.986275619 119% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.425 23.4991977007 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.05 5.21951772744 58% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.97078651685 121% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 28.0 5.13820224719 545% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.18931497764 0.243740707755 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0606070716876 0.0831039109588 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0501556697936 0.0758088955206 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.106379761091 0.150359130593 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0593812251979 0.0667264976115 89% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.5 14.1392134831 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.8420337079 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.1743820225 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.32 12.1639044944 126% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.59 8.38706741573 90% => OK
difficult_words: 175.0 100.480337079 174% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 11.8971910112 118% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.2143820225 107% => OK
text_standard: 18.0 11.7820224719 153% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 30 minutes.

Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.