People’s behaviour is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
Behaviour is the response of human to both internal and external stimuli. By definition, both internal and external factors play role in determining our response. However, in present time role of internal environment is overshadow by external environment. Therefore, I mostly agree with the prompt that people's behaviour is largely governed by forces external to us than our own factors for two reasons. However, I do concede that there are extreme cases when people are lead by their inner self.
First of all, in present time, world is well connected and under our reach. Hence, factors external to us slowly became the driving force. For instance, rise of social media platforms. In past decade, the way we connect, shop or explore the world has changed. Even though social media has serves us well and became of our support system, but at the same time it controls an individual equally effectively. For instance, young kids are one of the major users of such platforms. Interest of posting updates has now converted into obsession to portray themselves as flawless. They are under constant pressure to look good, attractive, liked, followed, most talked etc. This is affecting their mental health. Recent studies have also showed that in past decade cases of stress and depression have been doubled. Further, investigation also revealed that citizen's of US were influenced using social media during 2016 Presidential election. This example proves the extend to which social media can influence and manipulate our response. Both the examples have shown that external factors contribute largely in shaping person's response and behaviour.
Secondly, reaction of person is dependent on immediate external situation. Earlier in ancient times, women were not treated with respect and also considered inferior to men. Social duties and rules were also separate for both gender. Thus, participation of women was lacking in various fronts. On the contrary, in present time, women have shown their capabilities in diverse field as opportunities are very well available and accessible to women. The change in external factors and society contributed positively in shaping new personality of women. Reformers have contributed in raising such issues and behaviour of both society as well as women towards each other has changed. To further understand effect to external factors in our response, assume that a government official is well known for his anti-corruption views and stands. He is highly regarded in his department. However, if his wife is diagnosed with cancer and requires huge amount for treatment. This tense situation will provoke the person to accept bribe to augment his wife's treatment. This example clearly shows that it is not his usual and moral inclination towards bribe but the external condition which motivates him to act in such direction.
However, I do concede that there are some example of people whose bahaviour is driven by their internal and inherent nature. For example, Hitler from Germany. He had troubled childhood and was affected by WWI. But he was not the only one who suffered such events and his dictatorship though he got elected democratically was one of the dark phase in history. It was his inner traits, selfishness and greed which causes millions of people to loss their life. On the other hand, Mahatma Gandhi formidably followed peaceful yet effective non-violence while protesting against British colonization and their injustice. These leaders are extreme examples of actions shaped by their inner traits.
Overall, I mostle agree that individual behaviour is shaped by external factors to large extent and our we behave differently under external influence. However, I do concede that there are limited person who firmly remained anchored to their inner traits.
- People s behaviour is largely determined by forces not of their own making 58
- In this age of intensive media coverage it is no longer possible for a society to regard any living man or woman as a hero 50
- Government officials should rely on their own judgment rather than unquestioningly carry out the will of the people they serve 70
- People s behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making 16
- It is primarily in cities that a nation s cultural traditions are generated and preserved 50
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 221, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'overshadowed'.
Suggestion: overshadowed
...nt time role of internal environment is overshadow by external environment. Therefore, I m...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 955, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...sidential election. This example proves the extend to which social media can influence and...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 593, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...formers have contributed in raising such issues and behaviour of both society as ...
^^
Line 5, column 632, Rule ID: BOTH_AS_WELL_AS[1]
Message: Probable usage error. Use 'and' after 'both'.
Suggestion: and
...h issues and behaviour of both society as well as women towards each other has changed. T...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 198, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'people', 'persons'?
Suggestion: people; persons
...er, I do concede that there are limited person who firmly remained anchored to their i...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, however, if, look, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, well, while, for example, for instance, as well as, first of all, on the contrary, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.5258426966 149% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 12.4196629213 16% => OK
Conjunction : 26.0 14.8657303371 175% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.3162921348 150% => OK
Pronoun: 58.0 33.0505617978 175% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 75.0 58.6224719101 128% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 12.9106741573 186% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3214.0 2235.4752809 144% => OK
No of words: 605.0 442.535393258 137% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.31239669421 5.05705443957 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.95951083803 4.55969084622 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7119358395 2.79657885939 97% => OK
Unique words: 319.0 215.323595506 148% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.527272727273 0.4932671777 107% => OK
syllable_count: 1011.6 704.065955056 144% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 6.24550561798 224% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.38483146067 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 39.0 20.2370786517 193% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 23.0359550562 65% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.0077243521 60.3974514979 60% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 82.4102564103 118.986275619 69% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.5128205128 23.4991977007 66% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.69230769231 5.21951772744 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 5.13820224719 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 17.0 4.83258426966 352% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.156244930796 0.243740707755 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0329630086321 0.0831039109588 40% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.054930232849 0.0758088955206 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.103449861198 0.150359130593 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0747922439831 0.0667264976115 112% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 14.1392134831 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 47.79 48.8420337079 98% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.1743820225 85% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.22 12.1639044944 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.08 8.38706741573 108% => OK
difficult_words: 180.0 100.480337079 179% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 11.8971910112 59% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.2143820225 71% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.