The recommendation here asks to evaluate whether risky actions should be undertaken only after careful consequences. I believe that however it is wise to consider the consequences, there are other factors like time, criticality of the issue which plays a crucial role in determining the undertaking of the action. History is filled with risky actions which proved to be fruitful for entire human society. I would like to cite few of them.
After being hit by terrorists on September 11, 2001, the world became vulnerable with the fear of Al-Queda since U.S. being considered the strongest country in the world had been hit on the heart. It was then decided by U.S. government to declare a war against terrorists in Afghanistan. This grave decision had a risk of putting American solders life at peril on the foreign soil. However the need for the moment was to instill safety in the minds of not only citizens of U.S.A. but also the entire world. U.S. government took every action after evaluating each and every consequence and performed lethal operations. Entire world united and supported U.S.A. on this mission which ended after killing the master mind Osama Bin Laden.
I would like to take one more example from tech world. Steve jobs, who once was ostracized from Apple’s operations, was given a non-operational position at Apple’s research. Jobs, who was not satisfied with this verdict, had another plans in his mind. He had an idea to build different kind of computer which was unique in its own on that time. The only way to do that was to start another business on his own and resign from Apple. That was a risky task, however Jobs was determined and focused. He had entire plan on his mind. After discussing the plan with few of his close colleagues, he took the grave decision to quit Apple and start new company which was then known as Next. At the end that company came up with flying colors.
Although it is rational to evaluate all the consequences of an action, sometimes the criticality of an issue might not give leaders a chance to think about it in a duly fashion. The nuclear accident at Fukushima, Japan in 2011 is an example of that scenario. That accident happened because of unexpected arrival of tsunami which flooded the reactor premises and thereby damaging the reactors and disabling power backups. In the absence of power, the cooling got impacted which subsequently resulted in reactor meltdown. While all the incidents where happening, the president of reactor was in a dilemma if he should inform the masses to evacuate the city or he should wait for the workers response who were trying at their best to control the situation. Informing public had the risk of financial losses to the company. However considering the criticality of the situation, the president took the decision to inform the public to evacuate which turned out to be the best resolve.
Clubbing all the points, I can say that it is important to consider all the pros and cons of a risky action however sometimes criticality of problem may out powers the must needed pondering and impetuous actions might be required at those incidents.
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had another plans in his mind
had another plan in his mind
Sentence: I believe that however it is wise to consider the consequences, there are other factors like time, criticality of the issue which plays a crucial role in determining the undertaking of the action.
Error: criticality Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Although it is rational to evaluate all the consequences of an action, sometimes the criticality of an issue might not give leaders a chance to think about it in a duly fashion.
Error: criticality Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: However considering the criticality of the situation, the president took the decision to inform the public to evacuate which turned out to be the best resolve.
Error: criticality Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Clubbing all the points, I can say that it is important to consider all the pros and cons of a risky action however sometimes criticality of problem may out powers the must needed pondering and impetuous actions might be required at those incidents.
Error: criticality Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
You will need to put more arguments in the essay body. Only examples are not enough.
You may try this pattern:
Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.
Para 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).
Para 3: Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing like First
Para 4: Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing like First but shorter
Para 5: Conclusion.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 539 350
No. of Characters: 2555 1500
No. of Different Words: 276 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.818 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.74 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.566 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 174 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 139 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.963 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.667 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.245 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.445 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.107 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5