The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that they have more leisure time.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for t

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The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that they have more leisure time.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Nowadays, technology penetrates all aspects of human life, and almost there is nowhere that any sign of technological advancements can not be found. In this era of technology outburst, there are various attitudes toward its functionality and purposes. Many believe that technological improvement should expedite works that human is invovled in, to provide more leisure time for people. However, I do not agree with this statement, completely, to some reasons that will be elaborated.

Although, it is accepted that one of the advantages that technology brings to our lives is that it increases human efficiency in operating various tasks and as a result, now people have more leisure time, but it can not be pointed as the main goal of thechnology, because there are many more beneficial and crucial problems and issues that technology can address.

One of the merits that is outcom of technology development is that it can make many impossible works possible for human being, its utmost consequence is not bringing more free time but making life more pleasant and calm on earth. For example, due to recent advancements, there has been a significant increase in the amount of agricultural production that can be a helpful step toward providing food for people in regions who suffer from starvation, and this increase was not feasible without technology help. Also, it can facilitate many labour intensive activities for human. In the past , there were many employees and workers who were exploited to do difficult works in hard conditions, which now technology makes them easy-doing affairs. Thus, it can not be stated that the main result of technology should be increasing people free times.

Further, As it is obvious, technological improvements and inventions require spending lots of time and energy. Scientists devote significant parts of their time on accomplishing new researches. So, if technology only focus on providing more leisure time for human, and this trend get popular, so who will make attempt and endure efforts to improve human life quality through technological advancements? If more free time to get relaxed becomes the major goal of technology, it lead people to a culture of being idle and try less.

As conclusion, it could be said that, although technology should increase human efficiency , but it can not be considered as a tool, only to provide more leisure time.

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although technology should increase human efficiency , but it can not be considered as a tool, only to provide more leisure time.
Description: don't put 'although' 'but' in one sentence.

Sentence: If more free time to get relaxed becomes the major goal of technology, it lead people to a culture of being idle and try less.
Description: The fragment it lead people is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace lead with verb, past tense

Sentence: Many believe that technological improvement should expedite works that human is invovled in, to provide more leisure time for people.
Error: invovled Suggestion: involved

Sentence: Although, it is accepted that one of the advantages that technology brings to our lives is that it increases human efficiency in operating various tasks and as a result, now people have more leisure time, but it can not be pointed as the main goal of thechnology, because there are many more beneficial and crucial problems and issues that technology can address.
Error: thechnology Suggestion: technology

Sentence: One of the merits that is outcom of technology development is that it can make many impossible works possible for human being, its utmost consequence is not bringing more free time but making life more pleasant and calm on earth.
Error: outcom Suggestion: outcome

flaws:
In the fourth paragraph, the 'time' by Scientists is different to the 'idle time' by people.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 387 350
No. of Characters: 1957 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.435 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.057 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.856 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 137 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.8 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.615 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.362 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.579 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5