Billions of dollars are spent on beauty business by people all over the world. This has led to develop an indifferent and passive attitude to real healthy needs. Do you agree or disagree with it?

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Billions of dollars are spent on beauty business by people all over the world. This has led to develop an indifferent and passive attitude to real healthy needs. Do you agree or disagree with it?

In this present day, one of the most developing industries in the world that can spend billions of dollars every day is beauty business. Many people believe that beauty is a part of health necessity and need special treatment while others think beauty is naturally from inside.

Physically, the perspectives of beauty are slim, white skin, big eyes, long neck and shape lips. This point of view provokes people, especially women, to spend much money in order to gain a perfect body shape. In fact, several countries provide excellent technologies for plastic surgery. People in these countries do not have any doubt to change their body texture. They transform their nose to be more pointed through plastic surgery, and go to beauticians to create their skin to be brighter. According to “Asian Magz”, a magazine that presents information about Korean Star, Korean women can spend more than 3 million won or around 3 hundred thousand dollar for each operation. One significant problem is that one operation is not enough for them to reach their view of beauty, and they need another surgery.

On the other hand, some of traditional folks argue that beauty does not only come from outside, but it is naturally from inside. They believe that beauty represents their heart even though they do not have proportional body shapes, they can be seen as interesting as long as they can build good communication with their colleagues. Beauty relates to manners and attitudes, so people who have good behavior can interest society around them.

Conclusively, many people believe that beauty relates to body appearances. However, others think beauty is naturally from inside. Where possible, I think that beauty should combine physic beauty and attitude.

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flaws:
No. of Words: 285 350

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 285 350
No. of Characters: 1419 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.109 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.979 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.485 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 104 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 69 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.165 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.356 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.544 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.113 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5