In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?
In developing country, while education is not more actually as in industrial countries, children have to earn money to help their poor parents. Some people feel unpleasant about these phenomena. In the other hand, other people argue that valuable work experience is important for children to know what responsibility is.
For some reasons, this argument is out of date. First of all, children will get suffer cause of having no time to play with their friend. It will bring them difficult to explore their social sense when they grow up. Secondly, in the early age, human have different physical and mental condition with the adult. Children did not ready yet to take the adult responsibility. Their body condition is not proper to work while study. Mentally, they have not ready yet to have a conflict while they work. Psychologist said that children in this kind of situation will be suffering a lot. Government must take action to safe children from this situation. Certain regulation should be created to reduce children in their country working in their previous childhood life.
However, children who have stronger physical or mental condition than other will get an advantage from working from their early age. They will get more valuable working experience to prepare them for their future. Some famous people said that they get success life because they taken working responsibility from their early age.
Although some people argue that it will give children an advantages experience, working and take adult responsibility in early age is not suggested because it will bring them into horrible suffering in their childhood life.
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Sentence: Secondly, in the early age, human have different physical and mental condition with the adult.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a verb 'to have', uninflected present tense, infinitive or
Suggestion: Refer to human and have
Sentence: Some famous people said that they get success life because they taken working responsibility from their early age.
Description: The fragment they taken working is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace taken with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
flaws:
No. of Words: 266 350
No. of Characters: 1343 1500
No. of Different Words: 137 200
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.647 21.0
In the other hand? Is this phrase correct?
The topic is 'What are your opinions on this?', so you need to bring your own opinion clearly and use 2-3 reasons to support, instead of just discussing opinions on both side.
Better like this:
para 1: introduction. my opinion: A or B. agree or disagree
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion: because of reasons 1,2,3, so i agree/disagree.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 266 350
No. of Characters: 1343 1500
No. of Different Words: 137 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.039 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.049 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.556 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 86 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 70 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.647 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.507 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.412 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.489 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5