Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Competition and cooperation have been estimated as the main elements leading to the success in the lives of human beings throughout the history. Whether, the sense of competition or cooperation must be emphasized more when raising children is quite debatable issue. In my opinion, there are strong arguments in favor of both views, thus, before jumping to the conclusion, this intriguing question needs to be discussed by and large.
To start with, competition seems to be key point to the success related to the personal development, since it triggers desire to do your best in every possible situation in order to beat your opponents. As a result, children, who are encouraged to be competitive, easily form very strong and tough character and that trait make them good leaders in their future lives. On the other hand, sometimes, this type of kid raising results in the emergence of over competitiveness, which make people damage themselves. To be more precise, people having that characteristic feel depressed, whenever they can’t achieve their goals.
When it comes to cooperation, it is considered to be very useful means of child rearing, so as to teach children to be the part of a team. Additionally, children, who are raised by the parents placing high value on this feature, usually grow up into easy-going adults, as they are capable of compromising in plenty of circumstances. However, it is also essential to note that, if parents only focus on teaching their kids to be just cooperative, those children won’t be able to make decisions by themselves, on the contrary, they will always need to consult someone.
To sum it up, taking all the above mentioned factors into account, it is possible to say that, both options have some pros and cons. According to my personal viewpoint, it would be great if parents concentrated on both discussed traits equally, while raising their children.
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Whether, the sense of competition or cooperation must be emphasized more when raising children is quite debatable issue.
Suggestion: Can you re-write this sentence? There are serious grammar errors.
Sentence: As a result, children, who are encouraged to be competitive, easily form very strong and tough character and that trait make them good leaders in their future lives.
Description: The fragment trait make them is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace make with verb, past tense
this type of kid raising results in the emergence of over competitiveness,
Description: where is the verb for this sentence?
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 315 350
No. of Characters: 1543 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.213 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.898 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.772 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 106 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.759 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.338 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.589 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.06 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5