Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.
Sports professionals, who people focus in one kinds of sports, doing much exercises, have a special couch, sport medical, to prepare about self for play match or championship bring name of country. On the other hand, people, who have important proffesions, are someone working at company and get salary also in each month. This is two different proffesions like what they do day by day from what to do and how to get results of responsibility. In Indonesia, people, who an athelete, have dealing with government and it give a great more money than people not an athelete. It is values and appreciated to sports proffesionals because they give benefits to country but some people think, it was unsportive.
In personaly, I disagree about statement said that atheletes have more money than important proffesions is unfair. Actually, in Indonesia, atheletes make worldwide knowing about Indonesia and it makes other countries visiting to Indonesia. It mean athelete to open way to Indonesia get income with tourist comes. Secondly, sport proffesionals do not have more free time to holiday or doing make happy because they spent time with do exercises very well. Third, it is important because athletes who get win in match or championship was made country be proud in worldwide.
In case, in Indonesia for badminton athletes, they also get more pressure to became a winner, doing more exercises, and must to make country to be proud. It is different for who people have important professions. Employers did not give anything to country while everyday they get salary. For other reasons, employers have many free time to doing activities, go to holiday, and spent time to make enjoy.
In my conclusion, government must to give more appreciated what people in societ do and also try give things to country. Maybe who people do job, it is give benefits to country and make country to be proud too.
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- Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. 73
Sentence: Sports professionals, who people focus in one kinds of sports, doing much exercises, have a special couch, sport medical, to prepare about self for play match or championship bring name of country.
Description: A WH-pronoun, nominative is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to who and people
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to sport and medical
Sentence: In Indonesia, people, who an athelete, have dealing with government and it give a great more money than people not an athelete.
Description: A WH-pronoun, nominative is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to who and an
Description: The fragment it give a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace give with verb, past tense
Sentence: It is values and appreciated to sports proffesionals because they give benefits to country but some people think, it was unsportive.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to is and values
Sentence: It mean athelete to open way to Indonesia get income with tourist comes.
Description: The fragment Indonesia get income is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace get with verb, past tense
Sentence: Secondly, sport proffesionals do not have more free time to holiday or doing make happy because they spent time with do exercises very well.
Description: A verb, present participle or gerund is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to doing and make
Sentence: In case, in Indonesia for badminton athletes, they also get more pressure to became a winner, doing more exercises, and must to make country to be proud.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past tense
Suggestion: Refer to to and became
Sentence: It is different for who people have important professions.
Description: The word who is not usually used as a WH-pronoun, accusative
Suggestion: Refer to who
Sentence: Maybe who people do job, it is give benefits to country and make country to be proud too.
Description: A WH-pronoun, nominative is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to who and people
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and give
Sentence: On the other hand, people, who have important proffesions, are someone working at company and get salary also in each month.
Error: proffesions Suggestion: professions
Sentence: This is two different proffesions like what they do day by day from what to do and how to get results of responsibility.
Error: proffesions Suggestion: professions
Sentence: In Indonesia, people, who an athelete, have dealing with government and it give a great more money than people not an athelete.
Error: athelete Suggestion: athlete
Sentence: It is values and appreciated to sports proffesionals because they give benefits to country but some people think, it was unsportive.
Error: unsportive Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: proffesionals Suggestion: professionals
Sentence: In personaly, I disagree about statement said that atheletes have more money than important proffesions is unfair.
Error: atheletes Suggestion: athletes
Error: personaly Suggestion: personal
Error: proffesions Suggestion: professions
Sentence: Actually, in Indonesia, atheletes make worldwide knowing about Indonesia and it makes other countries visiting to Indonesia.
Error: atheletes Suggestion: athletes
Sentence: It mean athelete to open way to Indonesia get income with tourist comes.
Error: athelete Suggestion: athlete
Sentence: Secondly, sport proffesionals do not have more free time to holiday or doing make happy because they spent time with do exercises very well.
Error: proffesionals Suggestion: professionals
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 317 350
No. of Characters: 1531 1500
No. of Different Words: 149 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.22 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.83 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.667 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 100 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.812 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.48 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.372 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.538 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.071 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5