Countries becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Essay topics:

Countries becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays is the digital era which advent of technology and electronic equipment spread like growing of mushroom in the jungle. There is no people in today’s period having no-using gadget or mobiles because not only they need for communication but also for channel to know more about products information in their local area even internationally area. So, that’s why people recent year becoming more and more similar from all items including fashion style, education, hobby, even habit and personality because of effects of technology era. However, in this case, it supposes to retrain drawbacks and benefits from the impacts of the issue.

Some people believe that the disadvantages of similarity could cause boredom life which we could see recent year lots of people trying to get something new or even extreme. For example, people’s fashion style nowadays haven’t used just one colour which is related to sex. If the colour dominant blue or black, we assume that appropriate for men, but nowadays the idea have gone which is men nowadays can wear colourful clothes even pink colour which I very different in the past. Moreover, the similarity makes people to waste money for lots of products in order to look different from other people.

There is still benefits shy we have to make similarity when the advent of technology has come in 20th century. People have higher education because they want to be like their role mode such as actress, president or politician. In addition, similarity could makes to know more information instantly so when there is disaster or hot news, we can know easily because we have the same networking sites such as Instagram, Facebook, etc.

Overall, it depends on what kind of people you are. If you have characteristic to use something looked like your role model, you could do that, but if you don’t want to look similar with other people because it would be ashamed, you could change your everything such fashion style, habits, hobbies, etc to look different with other people.

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Comments

Nowadays is the digital era which advent of technology and electronic equipment spread
Nowadays it is the digital era when the advent of technology and electronic equipment spread

because not only they need for communication but also for channel to know more about products informatio
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?

why people recent year becoming more and more similar
why people in recent year are becoming more and more similar

we could see recent year lots of people trying to get something new
we could see in recent year lots of people are trying to get something new

Sentence: If the colour dominant blue or black, we assume that appropriate for men, but nowadays the idea have gone which is men nowadays can wear colourful clothes even pink colour which I very different in the past.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to is and men

There is still benefits shy we have to make similarity
There are still benefits why we have to make similarity

Sentence: In addition, similarity could makes to know more information instantly so when there is disaster or hot news, we can know easily because we have the same networking sites such as Instagram, Facebook, etc.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to could and makes

Sentence: If you have characteristic to use something looked like your role model, you could do that, but if you don't want to look similar with other people because it would be ashamed, you could change your everything such fashion style, habits, hobbies, etc to look different with other people.
Description: The fragment have characteristic to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace characteristic with adverb

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2

Read a good grammar book.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 338 350
No. of Characters: 1639 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.288 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.849 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.509 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 112 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.576 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.846 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.366 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.595 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.173 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5