Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching spots to younger children)
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Schooling plays a more and more significant role to the wellbeing of the students, resulting in a practical experience added to the compulsory part of high school programmes in some countries. It seems to be a valued and valuable methodology in my eyes.
Students in high school may profit from the programmes of unpaid community service and become well-rounded individuals. It is conceivable that the students are likely to mould better characteristics through the experience of unpaid community service. The community service, such as working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to the younger children can strengthen the students with a sense of responsibility and tolerance. When confronted with different difficulties, they may learn how to cope with the problems with their peers, instead of asking for help from parents and teachers.
In addition, it might be easier for the practical students to adapt to the society when they graduate from schools. During the period they spending time and energy on the community service, they would meet people from varying generations and occupations. The communication and cooperation skills could marginally be facilitated and developed. And the students might absorb those practical skills by heart much more profoundly than only be taught by teachers in the classrooms.
However, some would argue that unpaid community service as a compulsory part of education cannot motivate students without any rewards and prompt them with a stressful study life. Admittedly, students might not try their best to participate in the unpaid community service, and they seem to lead a exhausting life with less time in normal studies; nevertheless, with proper guidance and adjustment, they may strike a balance between the practical study and theoretical education. And the community and students can both benefit from the action.
Therefore, I believe that high school would be well-advised to provide opportunities for the students to gain experience during the unpaid service community. And the best way to ensure this education is to regard it into a compulsory demand for schooling.
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Schooling plays a more and more significant role to the wellbeing of the students, resulting in a practical experience added to the compulsory part of high school programmes in some countries.
errors in this sentence:
1. what is the subject for 'result'?
2. experience added to the compulsory part of high school programmes = experience which is added to the compulsory part of high school programmes. it is not 'experience', but 'unpaid community service is added'
During the period they spending time and energy on the community service, they would meet people
During the period when they are spending time and energy on the community service, they would meet people
And the students might absorb those practical skills by heart much more profoundly than only be taught by teachers in the classrooms.
And the students might absorb those practical skills by heart which are much more profound than those only taught by teachers in the classrooms.
flaws:
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You have some hidden grammar issues.
Attribute Value Ideal
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Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 335 350
No. of Characters: 1780 1500
No. of Different Words: 176 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.278 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.313 4.6
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No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.829 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.467 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.349 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.592 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.076 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5