Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, purpose of education being changed in Korea. There are some people who think that competition in children should be made, also others believe that children who are taught to coo-operate as well as become more useful adults. There are advantages and disadvantages for both of the arguments.
To being with, what is good if a sense of competition in children is made? They could develop themselves more and more as they learn and study a lot to win from the competition. To prove this, in Korea, it is popular – even common now – to have a tutor who come to student’s house to teach extra pieces of study with paying a lot of money. They learn faster than what they learn at school. Furthermore, during the vacations, students study abroad to learn English for a month instead of revise school work. If they have experiments such as study abroad, it is one of the greatest plus point to go to the famous well-known high school. Moreover, there are four big school exam and two national examinations to test students’ level of studies. Generally, only the highest 40% can go to the good quality highschools and colleges. Children learn as much as they can, to win the competition to obtain good quality schools.
On the other hand, as they are busy to enter the school and study individually with their own tutors, there are problems. They become selfish. They become careless and don’t help others a lot if it is about studies. There will be no co-operations for them. Then, why are there companies for many people to work in? Each of them are clever, however, there are weak parts and strong parts for each person. To co-operate is to improve this part. People talk and listen to what other think of and learn. That could also be a great opportunity to learn instead of learning alone with one teacher.
In conclusion, I strongly agree with that children should be taught to co-operate rather than compete. Nobody is perfect. People learn together, work together to develop each other. Therefore, I want parents and teachers to educate children concentrating on Co-operation, no to compete and ranking them.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 4, Rule ID: BEING_BEGIN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'begin'?
Suggestion: begin
...ntages for both of the arguments. To being with, what is good if a sense of compet...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 120, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[1]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
... could develop themselves more and more as they learn and study a lot to win from ...
^^
Line 3, column 677, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'exams'?
Suggestion: exams
...ol. Moreover, there are four big school exam and two national examinations to test s...
^^^^
Line 3, column 677, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'exam' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'exams'.
Suggestion: exams
...ol. Moreover, there are four big school exam and two national examinations to test s...
^^^^
Line 7, column 273, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...children concentrating on Co-operation, no to compete and ranking them.
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, furthermore, however, if, moreover, so, then, therefore, well, in conclusion, such as, as well as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 13.1623246493 167% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 7.85571142285 89% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 10.4138276553 115% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 24.0651302605 104% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 41.998997996 129% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.3376753507 72% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1780.0 1615.20841683 110% => OK
No of words: 367.0 315.596192385 116% => OK
Chars per words: 4.85013623978 5.12529762239 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37689890912 4.20363070211 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68613720809 2.80592935109 96% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 176.041082164 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.520435967302 0.561755894193 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 539.1 506.74238477 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 5.43587174349 166% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.76152304609 168% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 16.0721442886 156% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.2975951904 69% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 40.2966202057 49.4020404114 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 71.2 106.682146367 67% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.68 20.7667163134 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.88 7.06120827912 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.01903807615 100% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.67935871743 161% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 3.4128256513 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.296579732866 0.244688304435 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0826756046116 0.084324248473 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.106377090041 0.0667982634062 159% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.236480942981 0.151304729494 156% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.139226673054 0.056905535591 245% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.8 13.0946893788 67% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.73 50.2224549098 131% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 11.3001002004 67% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.26 12.4159519038 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.6 8.58950901804 88% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 78.4519038076 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 9.78957915832 87% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.1190380762 75% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.7795591182 74% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.