In today's societies, schools focus more on teaching basic sciences to their students more than any other thing. Due to that, one doesn't understand the remarkable role of art and music in the society. This is an interesting topic that will divide people because each person will provide a different opinion about that. Nevertheless, when it comes to me, I outright consider that art and music play a pivotal role for students, based on some reasons.
To begin with, learning about art and music might connect students with their history. Scientists are concurred that studying these two topics historical events might involved the students with other historical facts and thus students might learn about more than one topic. Therefore, it is like killing two birds with one stone. Let's make a brief explanation about that. When my brother was in high school, he went to the art museum with his professor. According to my brother, he no only understood the history of painting, but also he could realize that it development occurred during the civil rights movement. Thus, one can say that topics are connected.
Another noteworthy aspect is that learning about music and art one become a better person. The most conspicuous aspect about these two topics is that one learn appreciate the beauty of life. Let me shed light on my point. Art and music were written by poets who tried to cast love in their work. As a matter of fact, understanding that concept will provide one with a better point of view regarding life and society. I would claim that art and music might teach one to be a diplomatic and intellectual person.
In addition, if one doesn't know anything about our art and music, one will appear as an ignorant in front of others. It is very sad and even discouraging that a foreign person ask one about the typical music of one's country and one is not able to provide details, or worse if one doesn't know who was Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Thus, schools are responsible to teaching one about these facts.
To conclude, I definitely support that schools should include art and music in their curriculum because in this way students will learn about their history, they will become better people, and finally they will appear as intellectual in front of others.
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studying these two topics historical events might involved the students
studying these two topics historical events might involve the students
he no only understood the history of painting, but also he could realize that
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?
learning about music and art one become a better person.
by learning about music and art, one becomes a better person.
one learn appreciate the beauty of life
one learns to appreciate the beauty of life
a foreign person ask one
a foreign person asks one
Sentence: According to my brother, he no only understood the history of painting, but also he could realize that it development occurred during the civil rights movement.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to it and development
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to rights and movement
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 392 350
No. of Characters: 1836 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.45 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.684 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.409 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 115 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.099 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.524 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.515 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5