Do you agree or disagree with the following statement “People should focus on the happiness of others instead of their own happiness” use specific reasons and examples to support your answer?
In the case of happiness, I believe that at the first time people should focus on the happiness and enjoyment of yourself and after that people can pay attention to the happiness of others, but it depends on time and energy. Sometimes, help people cause happiness. At the modern world, happiness has a diversity of form, some people are happy when they play the game, another one is happy when they work hard, or some like to buy things in order to achieve happiness and lose depression and so on.
First, On the one hand, people need to achieve happy and healthy inside of yourself and after that think about another one. On the other hand, we need to make general satisfaction rather than own. In this case, I have an example from my life, six years ago I went to the institute of blood cancer charity as a volunteer for helping people, I worked and spent a lot of time at that time for making happiness there but at the end I don’t have enough time and energy for myself. I mean, I couldn’t make the best arrangement in my life and help people. As a result, the first time I made a decision for myself that finds one plan for my life and second pay attention to help others.
Second, We need to have energy in life, in that case, we can achieve energy from inspiration and passion of the other one. I believe that we can give energy to people by making happiness but it is not possible if we don have energy inside of ourselves. For instance, I had been played as a comedian-actor in the theater three years ago in order to make happiness for people at that time, but it was not easy and simple for me because I had so many problems in my life that they cause to distract my concentration to play. As a consequence, I lost the work that was so awful for me, therefore as a matter of fact being happy inside is so important than making happiness outside for other people. I believe that if we can make happiness and laugh for yourselves, therefore, we will make happiness for everyone. I want to have inspiration inside and satisfaction both of them. We can spend time and energy
Third, However, society needs to have happiness and freshness but we are one of the members of this community then we can influence by helpful and association with society. In this case, somethings jump into my mind that is so important like making a decision together with a consultant not individually these systems help to have sympathy and solidarity between people who need to have good mentally. Thus, we can start happiness within me by using the bits of advice of others not behave individually.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 485, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'distracting'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: distracting
...any problems in my life that they cause to distract my concentration to play. As a conseque...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, second, so, then, therefore, third, thus, for instance, i mean, as a matter of fact, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 25.0 13.8261648746 181% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 63.0 43.0788530466 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 70.0 52.1666666667 134% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2128.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 474.0 407.700716846 116% => OK
Chars per words: 4.48945147679 4.8611393121 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66599839874 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56729818245 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 206.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.434599156118 0.524837075471 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 700.2 618.680645161 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 72.895526512 48.9658058833 149% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.176470588 100.406767564 125% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.8823529412 20.6045352989 135% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.23529411765 5.45110844103 151% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.170313474083 0.236089414692 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0669998906184 0.076458572812 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0435295165922 0.0737576698707 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.1215447448 0.150856017488 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0426610698358 0.0645574589148 66% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 11.7677419355 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 10.1575268817 124% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.06 10.9000537634 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.11 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 64.0 86.8835125448 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.