Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment—doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
An amazing quality of life is tempting to all people around the world. People would do everything they could to fulfill and have the best quality of living. It is thought by some people that the majority of young adults spend their time by doing thinks to pleasure themselves. I believe that nowadays people are spending their time doing things they should do. I feel this way for two reasons that I will explore in following paragraphs.
To begin with, It is crucial to consider that our economy is not stable. People feel the sense of insecurity regarding their financial incomes. That means that young adults are really serious when it comes to distinguish what is more important for their long term well-being, so that they would use their time wisely. For instance, people who are successful today have hardly worked and had put a lot of effort to reach out the desired economic level. On the other hand, people who wasted their precious time entertaining themselves, they have not accomplished or developed economically. Overall, nowadays people feel insecure about our current economy, and because of that they really are focused on doing things that they should do in order to succeed in the near future. Therefore, they would feel a sense of security in themselves.
Secondly, our society is moving very fast, the demand for any kinds of server is drastically growing. Whatever kind of job your doing, people do not have enough time to do things for personal enjoyment, especially they have a family to take care of. My personal experience as a young adult that has a big family and a lot of responsibilities is a compelling example of this. About five years ago, when my third child borne, I realized that I would not be able to take time off for my personal pleasure. However, as the years passed by, I saw that I felt the sense of joy only when I was able to fulfill my families requirements and if everyone in my family was happy. I did not have time left to wasted for things that were not crucial for my life. If I had spent my time doing personal enjoyment, then I would had felt that anxious instead of happy because I was taking the time that I should have spent with my children, which was more important than everything else.
In conclusion, I think that today individuals spend more time at doing what they should do rather than entertain themselves. This is because they are not feeling secure, our economy would not give us that opportunity and young adults do not have enough time to waste for their own pleasures, they would put their family's happiness first.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-07-17 | M. MEHRABI KERMANI | 60 | view |
| 2023-04-14 | sonyeoso | 85 | view |
| 2023-03-31 | Dat_Nguyen | 71 | view |
| 2022-11-17 | rpinisetti8 | 70 | view |
| 2022-10-30 | Tanvayee15 | 70 | view |
- Agree disagree with the statement that people today spend too much time on their enjoyment 3
- Integrated TOEFL writing task 3
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer 70
- Tpo 12 Do you agree with the statement It is better to have a broad knowledge of many academic subjects than to specialize in one specific one 70
- TPO 5 Summarise the points made in the lecture being sure to explain how they case doubt on specific points made in the reading passage 80
Comments
Hi Permalink, I need your…
Hi Permalink, I need your advice . Please could you tell me , what would you change on this essay in order to receive 24 out of 30.
Thank you in advance and I'm looking forward for your advice.
thank you again, Zoi
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 812, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'have'
Suggestion: have
... doing personal enjoyment, then I would had felt that anxious instead of happy beca...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, really, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, third, well, for instance, i feel, kind of, to begin with, what is more, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 21.0 11.0286738351 190% => OK
Pronoun: 62.0 43.0788530466 144% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1856.0 1977.66487455 94% => OK
No of words: 398.0 407.700716846 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.66331658291 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46653527281 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53413851908 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 212.727598566 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.497487437186 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 587.7 618.680645161 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.2931558653 48.9658058833 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.6842105263 100.406767564 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9473684211 20.6045352989 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.47368421053 5.45110844103 155% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 4.53405017921 66% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.327891636325 0.236089414692 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.111662071763 0.076458572812 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.132943762994 0.0737576698707 180% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.25622499526 0.150856017488 170% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0855230143929 0.0645574589148 132% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.75 10.9000537634 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.64 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 86.8835125448 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Minimum four paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.