In new education system, teachers believe in team work project to motivate students to learn lesson besides cooperation. We are living among a lot of other people and our attitudes toward them define the rate of our success in real life. Nowadays people are focusing on technology and science alone, while without humanities knowledge we would not be able to do our duties. On the other hand, some people think that working with incapable co-workers is waste of time and energy so we should avoid it and try everything alone because at last we should do our tasks singularly. They assert that most famous scientists like Newton and Pascal, worked alone and nobody assisted them to finish their theories and accomplishments. Although both side of this argument have specific cons and pros, I advocate working together in classroom projects for following reasons.
To begin with, most scientific projects in all laboratories and industrial companies are designed to work together because science is very broad and we cannot learn all skills and information about them. If we just concentrate on particular subject, definitely we will lose a lot of good opportunities and achievements. For example, my husband studies biology at Harvard University and his major is cellular biology thus he is not skillful in molecular biology and when they work on cancer research, both specialties are necessary. If he cannot collaborate with his friends, he cannot find the proper subject for his research therefore he cannot defeat his thesis and graduate on certain deadline. As you can see, if teachers require students to learn cooperation in teamwork activities, they can use this skill afterwards, in next steps.
Moreover, there are a lot of vague issues that we do not know so if students consult with each other in projects can solve them better and learn some new techniques. Working with a talented partner encourages us to learn novel skills and improve our knowledge. For instance, when I was at high school, our chemistry teacher asked us to present some recent articles about organic components and necessitated us to work in group of three. I was a shy girl so I could not present our slides in front of others but my partners helped me to increase my self-confidence and taught me what to say. This experience showed me that friends in a group countenance us whenever we need them thus we would raise our abilities.
To wrap up, despite some people prefer to work alone and think that team works distracts them from the main goal, I adhere the idea of cooperation and companionship for mentioned reasons. In other words, I suggest that teachers compel their pupils to work together on projects and arouse them to learn this skill.
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- TPO27 - Integrated TOEFL essay 82
In new education system
In the new education system
is waste of time
is a waste of time
if students consult with each other in projects can solve them better and learn some new techniques
if students who consult with each other in projects can solve them better and learn some new techniques
if students consulting with each other in projects can solve them better and learn some new techniques
despite some people prefer to work alone
Description: check books how to use 'despite'
Sentence: Nowadays people are focusing on technology and science alone, while without humanities knowledge we would not be able to do our duties.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to humanities and knowledge
Sentence: This experience showed me that friends in a group countenance us whenever we need them thus we would raise our abilities.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, accusative
Suggestion: Refer to countenance and us
Sentence: To wrap up, despite some people prefer to work alone and think that team works distracts them from the main goal, I adhere the idea of cooperation and companionship for mentioned reasons.
Description: The fragment works distracts them is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace distracts with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
More sentences varieties wanted. Try to use less pronouns (like 'It, I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 458 350
No. of Characters: 2233 1500
No. of Different Words: 252 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.626 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.876 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.683 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 164 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.444 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.067 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.722 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.319 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.501 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.252 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5