Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phone, online games, and social networking Web site.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Education plays a vital role in kid's formation from children to adults. Some people support the fact that it is more an arduous task to teach kids today than years ago. However, In my view, networking web site and computers improve children's education.
First, social networking develops some skills in kids. Enhancing social skills helps individuals to have better human interaction. Some children are more tend to speak with other through chats. Thus, they develop good communication skills even with an online chat game. For example, most of the game for teenagers requires communicating with others. They have to speak into a microphone in order to talk to others. Hence, they gain more vocabulary than in the school. Moreover, kids have to work in order to complete a mission or part of the game. Therefore, they also develop team working skills. For instance, in the Mario bros game a child has to work in teams to finish the assignment. If they work by themselves, they could not keep playing. By fostering communication and teamwork, networking video games are teaching kids unconsciously. We have never seen something similar in the past, and thus it is much easier to educate children nowadays.
In addition to developing social and team working skills, networking websites also offers an alternative way to improve knowledge. Today, we find different information and sources of information online, such as the online encyclopedia. This source is extremely convenient when finishing homework. In fact, schools rely more in computerized assignment than in the traditional text book to teach kids. Not only is for kids more entertainment, but also it is more effective. The data obtained from online are more diverse, so they prefer to study through computers. Therefore, education by online data encourages millions of kids to study. For example, although I am not a kid anymore, I am still learning English, so I prefer to use games in order to acquire new knowledge. I rely on games to make my study more interesting and engaging. The king of games, such as Scrabble enables me to learn more information in an effective way. I never get tired of it. These kind of online games were not available in the past.
To sum up, even though people may say in the past it was easier to educate children, I do believe the online resources help to develop children's mind better. First, games aid kids to improve some social and team working skills. Also, they acquire more knowledge on online network that ever before. If I had to choose to live in a generation when I was a kid, I would want to live in this era due to technological advances. It is easier to learn, and also more amusing.
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Sentence: Some people support the fact that it is more an arduous task to teach kids today than years ago.
Description: A qualifier, pre is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to more and an
Some children are more tend to speak
Some children are more tending to speak
they gain more vocabulary than in the school.
Description: check books how to use 'more...than....' or '...er...than...'
Not only is for kids more entertainment,
Description: Not only... is not used properly.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
Some duplicate words or sentences. Look:
No. of Words: 458 while No. of Different Words: 230
Don't need to list reasons in the introduction and conclusion both. This will create duplicated content.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 33 15
No. of Words: 458 350
No. of Characters: 2170 1500
No. of Different Words: 230 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.626 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.738 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.662 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 144 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.879 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.465 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.256 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.38 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.058 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5