Essay topics: TPO-18 - Independent Writing Task
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
There is a widespread belief that students are more impacted by their educators than by their friends. I do adhere to it and the reasons on which my prospect is based will be discussed in details below.
Firstly, traditionally children are participated to educational process at early age. At this delicate age young students have a natural necessity to have a significant adult on whom they can rely. This is a natural need because children are completely depend on adults, for instance, they need protection and even food supply. This kind of help used to be provided by parents and relatives; however, in a contemporary society the role is passed to teachers and educators. Thus by default teachers have an enormous power to impact on children.
Secondly, all teachers who work with pupils have a professional education. The educational process is designed to give the future educators all needed skills, expertise and knowledge about children's minds and psyche. For instance, in Russian universities all future teachers have to devote a semester of their education to children psychology, developmental psychology and basics of working with difficult children. At the end of this course, all future educators must undergo a practice at schools under control of their mentors. Thus each graduate teacher may and will influence on their students.
Finally, teachers are a part of the school system which gives them a number of means and tools which may be employed in order to influence pupils. For example, each educator has a duty to score and estimate children's papers and work at class. Youngsters deeply depend on teacher's estimation of their work: a high mark may make a child happy and low mark may ruin one's self-esteem. Additionally to it, teachers may ask child's parents to visit school for having a conversation with them or a misbehaved student may be detained at principal office. Thus, a school teacher has a wide range of additional tools which may be used to steer and impact on students' minds and deeds.
To wrap up, teachers are grown-ups with specific knowledge and expertise; additionally to it, they belong to the school system which was design to shape children's mind. As a result, they have an enormous influence on their students. By contrast, children's friends have only limited impact on their classmates because they do not possess any of the teacher's means of influence.
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Comments
Hello, my reader.
Hello, my reader.
May you help me with this essay. Are the arguments good? May you point out on my mistakes?
Thank you for your answer. I have still learned how to write a decent essay.
p.s. Frankly speaking I have a problem with this topic because it is too ambiguous. Teachers may be widely seen as educators from a nursery school to university level and students may vary dramatically as well.
Need to remove some examples,
Need to remove some examples, but compare why not friends.
TOEFL test is for high school students going to universities, so most likely we should think the schools are from primary school to high school.
children are completely depend on adults
children are completely dependent on adults
Sentence: For instance, in Russian universities all future teachers have to devote a semester of their education to children psychology, developmental psychology and basics of working with difficult children.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to children and psychology
Sentence: Finally, teachers are a part of the school system which gives them a number of means and tools which may be employed in order to influence pupils.
Description: The fragment a part of is not usually preceded by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace a with the
school system which was design to shape children's mind
school system which was designed to shape children's mind
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
Less examples wanted.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 397 350
No. of Characters: 1968 1500
No. of Different Words: 201 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.464 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.957 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.769 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 150 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 85 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.85 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.85 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.301 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.53 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.083 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5