many people have learned a foreign language in their own country; others in the country in which it is spoken. Which is better? Give the advantages of each and support your view point.

Learning a different language is a very crucial task as it provides opportunity to communicate world widely. Some people prefer to learn a foreign language in the country in which it is spoken, while others refer to learn it in their own country. However, I would prefer to learn a new language in my native country for several reasons. Both methods have their own bright and dark sides.

Admittedly, the foreign country provides a prefect atmosphere to learn its language effectively. Learner gets opportunity to use that language potentially in daily life. For instance, I was born and brought up in India. I never used an English in my country. When I came to the United States of America, I initiated to lean it. I got lots of exposure here. I have learnt their accent, vocabulary, idioms etc. Moreover, I have learnt how to deliver content effectively. I met different people and got new friends. Additionally, I enrolled in their different festivals and parades, so got ideas about their costumes and culture. It was a fun part. I would able to broaden my horizon. I also participated in the Thanks Giving, Christmas, Easter festivals. I could able to explore a beauty of new country. Thus, if, I had not come to the new county, I would not able to enjoy their rituals.

However, if I want to learn a new language in my country, I can take online language learning course from different country. I do not have to go to the overseas to learn a new language. In the world of modernization and globalization, ample of leaning sources are available. For instance, my brother wanted to learn Arabic language. He searched a lot about that language from variety of magazines, internet and books. Moreover, he was enrolled in the online Arabic academy. It was very convenient as, he could do study anytime and anywhere. Furthermore, he took video classes from Arabic native speaker. My brother was doing chat with the tutor and got very good atmosphere for study. Within few months, he started speaking Arabic language fluently. In sum, we can take online course of different language.

Additionally, if I learn new language in my native country, its more cheaper than going to new country. IN foreign country, we have to face many expenses like accommodation, transportation, arrangement of food, family visit, flight etc. It would be more difficult to survive in a stranger country without friends and family. On the other hand, I can meet family and friends easily and get moral support from them, when I stay in my country. I do not have to leave my current job and study. I will not feel homesickness, which is a very huge burden, when we travel to abroad. Overall, it is very beneficial, when we learn a new language in own country.

To wrap up all, I would prefer to learn a new language in own country to get support from family and friends and to save money. Everyone should learn different language to expand their network with different people.

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flaws:
More sentences varieties wanted. Try to use less pronouns or not to use pronouns (like 'It, I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 37 15
No. of Words: 512 350
No. of Characters: 2362 1500
No. of Different Words: 231 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.757 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.613 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.631 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 179 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 132 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.838 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.114 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.351 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.309 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.446 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.169 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5

Try to put more argument before you put examples. and put less sentences for an example. Try this pattern:

Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.

Para 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 1 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).

Para 3: Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing as First

Para 4: Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing as First but shorter

Para 5: Conclusion.

An simple example (Eating at home or restaurant) for paragraph 2:
Para 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence: Eating at home can save money) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences: I can prepare cheaper food from food market; I don't need to drive or take a bus to reach the restaurant; I don't need to pay tips...) + examples for reason 1 (around 1 sentence: for example, a sandwich can cost me $10 at restaurant, but it only cost me $5 at home.) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences: with the money I saved, I can buy a good book to read; I can use the money for a trip...).

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