When I was young, my mom told me that I should put all my attention on the study, ignoring everything that were distractive to me. My mother always said that if I can get a good grade, then I can go to a better university and find a good job. However, I strongly believe that we should acknowledge how to manage money when we just entering the middle school.
To begin with, with mastering how to manage our money, we can develop a better insight of money. If we can manage an amount of money, we can decide how to spend the money. When the people is in their middle-school-age, because they do not have too much money to spend, they can spend it more well-regulated. For example, they might think that how to save some money so that they can buy an iPhone by themselves. By listing a save-money-plan table, they can manage how and when they spend their money. Undoubtedly, we are more easier to develop a serious of good habit when we are young than we become older, so we should learn how to manage the money when we are young. But if we focus on other things, such as playing and studying, we are more likely to be too willful with our money when we works, which is bad habit that may influence our daily life.
Also, we can have a sight of market by managing money. After listing a table that how and when we spend money, we sometime want to accelerate that process, which means we can have a part-time job to earn some money. We also can have a survey when we looking for the PT job, so we can know that what the market really need. It can helps us by regulating our life plan in preparing the management of our career. We can have a better major choice when we entering a university, also a better career choice then we graduate from school. Take me as an example, because I just focused on studying when I am young, I chose a major randomly when I entering university. But I found that major wasn't attract me and always have trouble in finding a related job. If I could know the market earlier, that would not happen.
Admittedly, children are immerse themselves with playing and studying, it is not a fault, but is people's instinct. However, mastering a skill that managing money is we really need when the children entering the society. So, because we can have a better insight of money and market when we are young, and it really benefit to us, I believe that we should learn how to manage our money when we are young.
- It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation 70
- Teachers should not make their social or political views known to students in the classroom 60
- In order to become financially responsible adults children should learn to manage their own money at young age 60
- TPO 33 Integrated Writing Task 80
- TPO 53 Many countries require cigarette smokers to pay particularly high taxes on their purchases of cigarettes similar taxes are being considered for unhealthy foods The policy of imposing high taxes on cigarettes and other unhealthy products has a nu 73
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 522, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'easier' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: easier
... spend their money. Undoubtedly, we are more easier to develop a serious of good habit when...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 794, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'we' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'work'
Suggestion: work
...o be too willful with our money when we works, which is bad habit that may influence ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 331, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'help'
Suggestion: help
...hat what the market really need. It can helps us by regulating our life plan in prepa...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 639, Rule ID: I_AM[1]
Message: Did you mean 'I am'?
Suggestion: I am
...am young, I chose a major randomly when I entering university. But I found that m...
^
Line 5, column 685, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
...ring university. But I found that major wasnt attract me and always have trouble in f...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 26, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'immersed'.
Suggestion: immersed
...not happen. Admittedly, children are immerse themselves with playing and studying, i...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 315, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'benefits'?
Suggestion: benefits
...market when we are young, and it really benefit to us, I believe that we should learn h...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, look, may, really, so, then, well, for example, such as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 25.0 9.8082437276 255% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 31.0 11.0286738351 281% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 83.0 43.0788530466 193% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 37.0 52.1666666667 71% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1982.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 456.0 407.700716846 112% => OK
Chars per words: 4.34649122807 4.8611393121 89% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62105577807 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.46699902305 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 212.727598566 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.416666666667 0.524837075471 79% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 627.3 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 19.0 9.59856630824 198% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 35.4436091998 48.9658058833 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.380952381 100.406767564 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.7142857143 20.6045352989 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.47619047619 5.45110844103 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.150442174486 0.236089414692 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0646207746672 0.076458572812 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0533980458059 0.0737576698707 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.120182321906 0.150856017488 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0554246210779 0.0645574589148 86% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.9 11.7677419355 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 67.08 58.1214874552 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.95 10.9000537634 73% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.79 8.01818996416 85% => OK
difficult_words: 61.0 86.8835125448 70% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.