People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do

Essay topics:

People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.

The prompt states that people nowadays enjoy most of their time more than do something should do it. I disagree with this statement for many reasons, which I will illustrate in the following essay.

First, if people truly spend their time in leisure activities more than on important things, how will they be able to afford the life requirements? To be able to pay, for example, the house's rent, school fees, and even the phone pill, the one has no choice to spend his time in other recreational things. Thus, if we count the workdays compared to pastime days, we find them more than the later ones. Doing personal activities for fun needs free time; thus, there is not enough free time. How could those activities be done? For example, most people have to work five days per week, as the work-low says. Therefore, it is mandatory to work more than have free time. When we plan to travel or even have lunch out with our families, my friend and I should first ask for vacation or wait for the end of the week.

Second, not only men who are working and have no time doing entertaining activities, but also women, and the young people. For instance, women either work or are housewives, and in both cases, they have much stuff to do. For the housewife, she has to care for her children or help them in studying. Therefore, doing leisure activities will be the same for the rest of the family's members, only on the weekends.
Moreover, young people are either studying at schools, colleges during the weekdays or working. For the same reason, not enough time for enjoyment to be more than the other important time.

In conclusion, I have come up with the opinion that it's not plausible to spend most of the time doing activities for enjoying to the extent be more than the time spent in other essential things. This is because to afford the life expenditures from house and school and so forth. Second, as the work time has its rule and law, which should be five days per week, normally, there is not enough free time to spend it in personal activities, even the housewife has her own tasks toward her family's members to do.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 8, column 372, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... should be five days per week, normally, there is not enough free time to spend i...
^^
Line 8, column 511, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tasks toward her familys members to do.
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, moreover, second, so, therefore, thus, as to, for example, for instance, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 43.0788530466 70% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 52.1666666667 75% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1749.0 1977.66487455 88% => OK
No of words: 382.0 407.700716846 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.57853403141 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.42095241839 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.3283085129 2.67179642975 87% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 212.727598566 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.489528795812 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 534.6 618.680645161 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.2145393722 48.9658058833 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.0526315789 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1052631579 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.68421052632 5.45110844103 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.26642723678 0.236089414692 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0927028481184 0.076458572812 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0952967016452 0.0737576698707 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.180752319305 0.150856017488 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.059340709572 0.0645574589148 92% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 11.7677419355 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.28 10.9000537634 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.94 8.01818996416 87% => OK
difficult_words: 56.0 86.8835125448 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.