We live in the world of celebrities. They are everywhere, in TV, Radio, Internet or the huge streets’ billboards. I can say for sure that everybody talks about these famous people at least once a day, so they are strong enough to occupy our minds. Although, there is no need for any deep explorations in their personal life to find out how much they are getting paid each year, it is definitely large amount of money that ordinary people cannot even imagine that. By the way, I believe that they deserve it and there are two prominent reasons that lend support to my claim which will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, any person who does a job for living still helps the society in his or her own way, but there is a significant difference between the portions that anyone can help. To explain more, consider a bank clerk as an example, she goes to her office every day and does the best that she can, in the ideal situation, each customer is satisfied with her job as well as her boss and colleges. On the other hand, we can take a national athlete as an instance, while she is doing her job, there are lots of eyes on her. It means, numerous amount of people care and enjoy her performance and even they might forget about their daily problems for couple of minutes or hours. More than that, this athlete can eject a public joy to the society whenever she wins in a huge competition such as Olympic. The point is, we all are doing our best everyday but it is not just about what we are doing. The influences that we can have on people’s life is much more important and the output of celebrities’ job covers more people that ordinary people’s does.
Another thing that should be mentioned is the fact that famed people actually sacrifice their own personal life to make our life better in some ways. We can always see something about their personal issues which breaks the news, however, we all aware that they are not satisfied or even agreed to be revealed in public. This can prove that celebrities do not have as much personal space as we have. Even more, they have to work in more hours and under severe pressure to keep their fans pleased and happy, otherwise they will be punished by public condemn and ignorance. In one word, they still are ordinary people which are expected to do extra ordinary jobs.
Altogether, some people might state that celebrities do not deserve huge salaries, but based upon above arguments they are getting what they have to get. The moment that they cannot fulfill the people’s expectation they will be down, so they are really trying hard and they should be paid more than regular people.
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it is definitely large amount of money
it is definitely a large amount of money
The influences that we can have on people’s life is much more important
The influences ... are much more important
personal issues which breaks the news
personal issues which break the news
ordinary people which are expected to do extra ordinary jobs.
ordinary people who are expected to do extra ordinary jobs.
Altogether, some people might state that celebrities do not deserve huge salaries, but based upon
Description: don't put 'although' 'but' in one sentence.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
More sentences varieties wanted. Look, a lot of sentences start with subject 'we,they'.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 479 350
No. of Characters: 2122 1500
No. of Different Words: 241 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.678 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.43 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.225 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 121 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 83 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.211 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.339 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.312 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.487 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.164 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5