Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer?

Essay topics:

Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer?

Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer?
Speaking of a word " Money ". It arouses different responses among people. Some may frown up to it while other's might node their head with a whole hearted smile on their face. But, as far as I am concerned, I adopt a firm position that yes , children should be given incentives when they gained good scores. There are a lot of reasons for this opinion, but , I want to explore just a few of the primary one's here.
First of all, Money is the fundamental unit of everyone's life. We also need it even for just buying a piece of a bread because nothing is for free. As, far as school children's are concern they are at a very young age that they did not realize it's worth until we show them. I want to illustrate this idea by the help of my own personal example. Like I remember, when I was in 10th grade in Trueman High school. I was so bad in chemistry because it was quite boring and dry subject that's why I don't want to read that subject and eventually I failed. My parent's were so worried because of my poor performance. Then one day my mom came to my room and she told me that if I got good grades in chemistry, then she will give me money so, that I can buy my dream car which is Honda Civic. As, being a student , I cannot afford that on my own. So, I worked day and night and put all my efforts to get good grades in chemistry. When I got my result, I was so astonished that, is it really me who can perfom that well in an exam which I failed previously. Then I realized, my mom's trick works. What I have learned in my life is yes, these little things matter's alot.
There is another factor which deserves some words here if we want to inject this thing in our children that you have to work hard if you want to achieve something in your life , then we have to trained them from the very early age. Child at a school level is just like a sponge, they can absorb so easily and quickly.At this moment I want to share about a reseach article which i was reading yesterday on pubmeb.It states that to proceed further in life you always need some motivation in your life.To prove that they conduct a single blinded scientific study in two group of 5th grade students, one of them were told that, if they perfome well in map test they will get a gift card of toy'rus so they can buy any toy of their own personal choice while other's didnot have any such offer.When the reasearchers got the results of that trial they clearly saw that students with toy'rus gift card offer perform more well in map test than other’s.So, scientifically it is proven that you automattically try to find a better way if you have some reward in front of you.
By the way of conclusion, all in all I believe that it is a really good idea if parents give money to students who perform well in their studies and get good grades.
Word count 550.

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Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 216, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...eir face. But, as far as I am concerned, I adopt a firm position that yes , child...
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Line 2, column 250, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
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...erned, I adopt a firm position that yes , children should be given incentives whe...
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Line 2, column 363, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...e are a lot of reasons for this opinion, but , I want to explore just a few of t...
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Line 2, column 368, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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... a lot of reasons for this opinion, but , I want to explore just a few of the pr...
^^
Line 2, column 372, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...ot of reasons for this opinion, but , I want to explore just a few of the primar...
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Line 3, column 148, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...of a bread because nothing is for free. As, far as school childrens are concern th...
^^
Line 3, column 480, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
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...use it was quite boring and dry subject thats why I dont want to read that subject an...
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Line 3, column 492, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
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Suggestion: don't
...uite boring and dry subject thats why I dont want to read that subject and eventuall...
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Line 3, column 698, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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... that if I got good grades in chemistry, then she will give me money so, that I c...
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Line 3, column 746, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...he will give me money so, that I can buy my dream car which is Honda Civic. As, b...
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Line 3, column 802, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: ,
...hich is Honda Civic. As, being a student , I cannot afford that on my own. So, I w...
^^
Line 3, column 941, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...ades in chemistry. When I got my result, I was so astonished that, is it really m...
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Line 3, column 1028, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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... can perfom that well in an exam which I failed previously. Then I realized, my m...
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Line 4, column 176, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...u want to achieve something in your life , then we have to trained them from the v...
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Line 4, column 317, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: At
..., they can absorb so easily and quickly.At this moment I want to share about a res...
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Line 4, column 378, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
... to share about a reseach article which i was reading yesterday on pubmeb.It stat...
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Line 4, column 412, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: It
...which i was reading yesterday on pubmeb.It states that to proceed further in life...
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Line 4, column 421, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...as reading yesterday on pubmeb.It states that to proceed further in life you alwa...
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Line 4, column 500, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: To
...lways need some motivation in your life.To prove that they conduct a single blind...
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Line 4, column 513, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...me motivation in your life.To prove that they conduct a single blinded scientific...
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Line 4, column 788, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: When
...while others didnot have any such offer.When the reasearchers got the results of tha...
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Line 4, column 947, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: So
...more well in map test than other's.So, scientifically it is proven that you a...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, really, so, then, well, while, speaking of, by the way, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 26.0 11.0286738351 236% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 101.0 43.0788530466 234% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 65.0 52.1666666667 125% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalization wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2446.0 1977.66487455 124% => OK
No of words: 577.0 407.700716846 142% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.23916811092 4.8611393121 87% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90110439584 4.48103885553 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.313313201 2.67179642975 87% => OK
Unique words: 297.0 212.727598566 140% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.514731369151 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 757.8 618.680645161 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Interrogative: 4.0 0.994623655914 402% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 156.397463748 48.9658058833 319% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 101.916666667 100.406767564 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.0416666667 20.6045352989 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.95833333333 5.45110844103 73% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 22.0 5.5376344086 397% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.384062257771 0.236089414692 163% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.101364896151 0.076458572812 133% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.165144112589 0.0737576698707 224% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.319433928272 0.150856017488 212% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.341070509234 0.0645574589148 528% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 11.7677419355 90% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 72.5 58.1214874552 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.61 10.9000537634 70% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.48 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 86.8835125448 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.002688172 60% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 30 minutes. We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200

Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.