Some young people have free time in the evenings after school or on days off from school. Which of the following activities would be most beneficial for young people (ages 14-18) to do in their spare time? Why?
- Gaining practical work experience either at a part time job or by volunteering in the community
- Learning to play a sport
- Learning to play a musical instrument
No one can cast a shadow of doubt on the fact that the efficient using of time has played a predominant role in the people’s future. Parent as an important member of each society seeks to pave the best way for children toward the success. One of the most highlighted duties of parents is planning a proper schedule for their children in free times. Not all people concur when this issue arises. To being cognizant to the logic behind those who endorse or repudiate the legitimacy of this contention, not having any biased perception, I presume that attending to a part time job or some communities for a specific work is more profitable for a child in his/her spare time than other activities such as sport or learning music. Among a plentitude of reason in support of this assertion, acquiring a lot of experiences and being familiar with people in a real work could be picked out for further analysis.
To commence with, a consensus has yet to be reached; however, regarding the importance of work experience is finding a prestigious job in prosperous company, based upon the statistics of different general questionnaires in sundry countries, people are unanimous about the conviction that students could be familiar with workplaces and different device and common procedures in the workplace; moreover, they acquire valuable experiences and combine them with their knowledge. This leads to an educated worker which could utilize his/her knowledge in practical situations. Furthermore, these job’s experiences fortify students’ resume and prepare them for attending to the industry in the future. It is clear that companies are willing to employ these people based on their past. A vivid example can be given to shed light on what was elaborated above. The results of a study carried out by Rice University’s graduate students unveiled the fact that about 85 percent of engineers of Benz company in Germany have short time internship in this company or its related companies before the university.
In addition to the reason raised above, regarding the people’s behavior’s difference among industrial places and academic place could also substantiate the justifiability of the claim at the outset of this essay. In conjunction with public belief, students could broaden their horizon about job’s duties and behaviors by participating in part-time jobs. In fact, they would be familiar with different people and various cultures and learn to respect other people’s ideas. Furthermore, they would be responsible for their activities, and if they make mistakes, accept it and try to correct them. For instance, when I was the child, I work for a big newspaper in my hometown. In that job, I should communicate with different people with different status and job positions. I learned that how to appeal different people in a specific manner and increase my profit by using this relation.
Drawing upon the reasons, discreetly put, as far as my personal perspective on the topic is concerned, I reiterate that joining to a part-time job in the spare time of childhood could be more beneficial for children and the stepping-stone for future. It could increase not only their experiences but also their understanding of different people.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-03-02 | persepolistmm | 73 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 570, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...rception, I presume that attending to a part time job or some communities for a specific ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 370, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ors by participating in part-time jobs. In fact, they would be familiar with diffe...
^^
Line 4, column 838, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a specific manner" with adverb for "specific"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ned that how to appeal different people in a specific manner and increase my profit by using this re...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, moreover, regarding, so, for instance, in addition, in fact, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 85.0 52.1666666667 163% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2751.0 1977.66487455 139% => OK
No of words: 528.0 407.700716846 130% => OK
Chars per words: 5.21022727273 4.8611393121 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79356345386 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.03667830792 2.67179642975 114% => OK
Unique words: 278.0 212.727598566 131% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.526515151515 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 862.2 618.680645161 139% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Interrogative: 1.0 0.994623655914 101% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 98.9790284483 48.9658058833 202% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 131.0 100.406767564 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.1428571429 20.6045352989 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.45110844103 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.232576914255 0.236089414692 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0722206442639 0.076458572812 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.037968475871 0.0737576698707 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.158897853219 0.150856017488 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0396340957356 0.0645574589148 61% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.7 11.7677419355 133% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 58.1214874552 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.23 10.9000537634 121% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.27 8.01818996416 116% => OK
difficult_words: 147.0 86.8835125448 169% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 85.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.