TPO-20 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Success is considered one of the most important aspects of our life. Every one try to find way or source of success in his personal life or even at his work to get him motivated and able to cope with his life. Some people I am sure they would believe that we it is a great idea to stick to what every you do every day, other would disagree. However, when it comes to me I am strongly believe that we have to take risks and try new things we never tried before for two important reasons. I will demonstrate my opinion in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, when you take a risk you will gain new experience. We can see when we do something new in our life we can explore new aspect that can help us to get our life more easily and more interesting. In instance, I used to work in a computer company in New Jersy for a years but, one a day I decided to change may career path. Even though I was so satisfied at the computer company but I was interested to try something new and take the risk. I moved to down town New York to work in chain pharmacy as a pharmacy technician. I started to learn something completely new. I gained a lot of knowledge about the medication, drug interactions, and dosage forms and how to help the poor patients. As a result, now I am so expert and that helped me to pass the first exam at the pharmacy school. As we can see, i would not have had this new experience, if i were not to take the risk and change my career.
Second, to cope with this dynamic world you have to learn new things. Nowadays, there are a lot of tremendous changes around us like the world of androids, computers, devices and medical technology. So, if you would like to be most updated with this, you have to try something different than what you used to do every day. For example, my cousin he is a doctor in New York hospital. He decided to discover a new medicine for cancer patients. In the beginning he felt that it is so hard but, he was persistent to do something different to help the cancer patient. In addition, he implemented a big experiment that includes one hundred patients. Furthermore, he used a very advanced technology, no one used before. As a result, he was able to discover new drug that cure cancer forever without chemotherapy. This experience taught me that we have to try something new.
In sum, thought some people may oppose this plan that trying something new and take risks is a great opportunity to each one of us. Not only we can gain experience but also, we can be apple to cope the dynamic world. I strongly believe that everyone should do something new and take the risk to improve his life.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 263, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'we' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'be'
Suggestion: be
...I am sure they would believe that we it is a great idea to stick to what every you...
^^
Line 1, column 385, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'believed'.
Suggestion: believed
...ever, when it comes to me I am strongly believe that we have to take risks and try new ...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 274, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a year' or simply 'years'?
Suggestion: a year; years
... in a computer company in New Jersy for a years but, one a day I decided to change may ...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 577, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...rted to learn something completely new. I gained a lot of knowledge about the med...
^
Line 2, column 811, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
... at the pharmacy school. As we can see, i would not have had this new experience,...
^
Line 2, column 856, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...ld not have had this new experience, if i were not to take the risk and change my...
^
Line 3, column 287, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[2]
Message: Did you mean 'different 'from''? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
Suggestion: from
...is, you have to try something different than what you used to do every day. For exam...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, second, so, for example, in addition, as a result, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 74.0 43.0788530466 172% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2142.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 498.0 407.700716846 122% => OK
Chars per words: 4.30120481928 4.8611393121 88% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72397222731 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54024239118 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 212.727598566 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.439759036145 0.524837075471 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 703.8 618.680645161 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 9.59856630824 177% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 30.5145628504 48.9658058833 62% => OK
Chars per sentence: 79.3333333333 100.406767564 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.4444444444 20.6045352989 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.18518518519 5.45110844103 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.213827124696 0.236089414692 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0610813717642 0.076458572812 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.052516860189 0.0737576698707 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.145624177231 0.150856017488 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00804125463033 0.0645574589148 12% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.0 11.7677419355 68% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 58.1214874552 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 10.1575268817 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.66 10.9000537634 70% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.88 8.01818996416 86% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 86.8835125448 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.