Nowadays, our career is considered one of the most important aspects in our lives. Children who have a good opportunity to work in a good position after graduation they can live the life that they always dreamed off. I am sure that some people would believe that children who work different jobs than their parents' jobs is a great idea, while others would disagree. However, when it comes to me I totally agree that children should work different jobs than their parents' jobs. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will demonstrate in the following essay.
To begin with, students can improve their skills through different careers. Recently, children can find a lot of job fairs for different companies. Moreover, many students can pick the right position according to their interests. So, they can gain new knowledge than their parents do. For instance, My cousin is gradated from art school two years ago, but his parents are doctors. My cousin decided to choose different path than their parents. In fact, during his college he would able to learn a lot about different cultures and he learnt many new aspects about the history. So, after his graduation he got a great position in a multinational company. In addition, he got a free honership at a famous college at Italy due to his fantastic knowledge that he got it from the art university. On the other hand, his brother followed his parents' job and he is still working in his father's clinic. He always saying it is very boring and he could not learn any new skills. As you can see, many children can improve their abilities and gain new experience from people who have different prespective when they study different majors.
In addition, children can cope with the dynamic world when they work another job than their parents's jobs. right now, we can find a lot of advanced technology available around us. Young people should have the ability to communicate with these different way of technology. For example, my daughter can use her lap top very fast and she knows how to make power point presentation. In addition, she is working as a nurse in a big hospital and she always use a lot of new technology to interact with the patient. However, my husband he is retired doctor and he left the hospital ten years ago. Furthermore, he was working with a very old devices and he never used the internet to send an email or even to communicate with patient. If my daughter took the same way she could not cope with the advanced technology and she might be a failure nurse. This experience taught me that children accommidate the tremendous change in technology if they choose different career.
In sun, I believe that students should go for different job than their parents' jobs. This is because they can improve their skills, and because they can cope with the dynamic world.
- TOEFL T P O 34 - Integrated Writing Task 3
- TPO-27 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying.Use specific reasons and ex 70
- TPO-21 - Integrated Writing Task Genetic modification, a process used to change an organism’s genes and hence its characteristics, is now being used to improve trees through genetic modification. It is possible to create trees that produce more fruit, g 73
- TPO-09 - Integrated Writing Task Car manufacturers and governments have been eagerly seeking a replacement for the automobile's main source of power, the internal-combustion engine. By far the most promising alternative source of energy for cars is the hy 81
- TPO-14 - Integrated Writing Task Every year, forest fires and severe stormscause a great deal of damage to forests in the northwestern United States. One way of dealing with the aftermath of these disasters is called salvage logging, which is the practice 60
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 577, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[4]
Message: “So , after” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...rnt many new aspects about the history. So, after his graduation he got a great position ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 904, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[3]
Message: The pronoun 'He' must be used with a third-person verb: 'saith', 'says'.
Suggestion: saith; says
...orking in his fathers clinic. He always saying it is very boring and he could not lear...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 108, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Right
...k another job than their parentss jobs. right now, we can find a lot of advanced tech...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 452, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[3]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'uses'.
Suggestion: uses
... nurse in a big hospital and she always use a lot of new technology to interact wit...
^^^
Line 5, column 678, Rule ID: SEND_AN_EMAIL[1]
Message: Consider using 'email'.
Suggestion: email
...vices and he never used the internet to send an email or even to communicate with patient. If...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, however, if, moreover, so, still, while, for example, for instance, i feel, in addition, in fact, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 9.8082437276 224% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 74.0 43.0788530466 172% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2350.0 1977.66487455 119% => OK
No of words: 494.0 407.700716846 121% => OK
Chars per words: 4.75708502024 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71445763274 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52984286124 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.463562753036 0.524837075471 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 717.3 618.680645161 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 9.59856630824 177% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 20.6003584229 136% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 27.2959031089 48.9658058833 56% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 83.9285714286 100.406767564 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6428571429 20.6045352989 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.28571428571 5.45110844103 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.88709677419 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.27700825294 0.236089414692 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0856521080757 0.076458572812 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0869296200665 0.0737576698707 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.197416483343 0.150856017488 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0462671339117 0.0645574589148 72% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 11.7677419355 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.03 10.9000537634 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.88 8.01818996416 86% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 86.8835125448 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.