In spite of the advantages that people had in the past, I believe that people now are more joyful. In my opinion there are two positive points of advent of new high technology and making more money that contribute human for being pleased. Someone may consciously weigh the pros and cons of each of these elements.
First of all, new technical and practical enhancements come to help human for being more satisfied. The fantastic and marvelous instruments including digital camera, satellite, television, or cell phone provide an environment for people to be happy. For example, a young boy can lay back and listen to different kind of the music such as Jazz, Rock, or Pop, and perhaps spend a terrific time. However, getting access to these weird tools was not possible in the past, and therefore, our ancestors had to choose another recreation such as walking, horse racing, or go for swimming. These amusements are good, but not as delightful as new digital computers. These digital gadgets possibly give mankind fortune and easier life.
Second, making a big money is another noticeable support. These days, internet connection donates all business man and women to extend their corporation, as well as reach to an extreme interest rate. Having numerous amounts of money aid adults and children to either go wherever or purchase whatever they want or like. In contrast, in the past, the businesses were governed local. In other words, merchants had to trade with traders who dwelled in their neighborhood, and as a consequence this yielded a less profit. Communication with others and making countless money are the key factors that persuade folk to be gratified with their lives.
Admittedly, there are some justifications by someone who argues that people were gladdened in the past. First of all, people have accessed to the clean air. In other word, there were not any cars, buses, or trains to burn natural gas or oil and release toxic materials including carbon dioxide or monoxide to the atmosphere. Furthermore, there were not any resources to spread out terrible noise to the air. Maybe the songs of the birds and vibrations of waterfalls were the only origin of the sounds. However, still I affirm the delightfulness of the today living.
Due to aforementioned ground, I think that all people should bear in mind that nowadays people experience more pleasure. Participating of new high tech equipments and making tremendous money are two prime and conspicuous benefit that assist people’s gladness.
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Essay evaluation report
In my opinion there are two positive points of advent of new high technology and making more money that contribute human for being pleased.
Description: can you re-write this sentence? regarding: '...of advent of...'
flaws:
After 'However, still I affirm the delightfulness of the today living.', need more argument to support your ideas.
Something like:
However, still I affirm the delightfulness of the today living. The told issues can be solved sooner or later. For example, many governments nowadays manage a lot of funding, grants and incentive programs to encourage green energy research, development and demonstration. And green cars are not models in labs, they are running on the street; There is an international co-operations to fight against global warming. etc....//you can develop more here.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 414 350
No. of Characters: 2041 1500
No. of Different Words: 249 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.511 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.93 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.661 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.331 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.652 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.257 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.472 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.036 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Very thanks to testbig team!!
Very thanks to testbig team!!
1) Regarding to the "flaws:
After 'However, still I affirm the delightfulness of the today living.', need more argument to support your ideas. "
Do you think if I say "However, still I affirm the delightfulness of the today living due to the previously mentioned reasons."is enough? I mean just refer to reasons in paragragh two and three.
Or
If I remove fourth paragragh to the second paragraph and say "However, still I affirm the delightfulness of the today living due to the following reasons." is Ok?
In fact, I do not want to write an essay that has more than 400 words. This way I can save time to review and correct my mistakes.
2) About first paragraph or introduction, if I revise it as "In spite of the advantages that people had in the past, I believe that people now are more joyful. Someone may consciously weigh the pros and cons of each side. The reasons go as follows." is Ok?
For Q1: No. basically, the
For Q1: No. basically, the pattern is like this:
Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree. (suppose we support side A)
Para 2: reason 1
Para 3: reason 2
Para 4: reason 3
Para 5: Conclusion.
You don't need to make reason 3 like this:
Admittedly, there are some advantages of side B. first,....second...However, there is no causation/relation... Still I support side A, ...first,....second...
You can simply put a new reason like: 'people now have more friends nowadays. '.
Reason 3 is a new reason, it is not related to reason 1 and reason 2. You have to put it in a new paragraph.
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and 'In fact, I do not want to write an essay that has more than 400 words.', actually, the paragraph 2 and paragraph 3 are not developed efficiently, so they get a lot of content. You can make them smaller. Read essays by this user who has three reasons, but less content:
http://www.testbig.com/users/nargess1981
or this user:
http://www.testbig.com/users/ftn
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For Q2: yes, it is much better.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 16, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[3]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'big money'.
Suggestion: big money
...tune and easier life. Second, making a big money is another noticeable support. These da...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 215, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'burning'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'train' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: burning
...ere were not any cars, buses, or trains to burn natural gas or oil and release toxic ma...
^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['but', 'first', 'furthermore', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'second', 'so', 'still', 'therefore', 'well', 'for example', 'i think', 'in contrast', 'kind of', 'such as', 'as well as', 'first of all', 'in my opinion', 'in other words', 'in spite of']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.265392781316 0.229887763892 115% => OK
Verbs: 0.133757961783 0.158761421928 84% => OK
Adjectives: 0.112526539278 0.0866891130778 130% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0509554140127 0.046263068375 110% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0191082802548 0.0685040099705 28% => Some pronouns wanted.
Prepositions: 0.0955414012739 0.118717715034 80% => OK
Participles: 0.0382165605096 0.0351676179071 109% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.76318473011 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0339702760085 0.0309702414327 110% => OK
Particles: 0.00212314225053 0.00188951952338 112% => OK
Determiners: 0.0849256900212 0.0887237588012 96% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.00636942675159 0.0209618222197 30% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0106157112527 0.0139019557991 76% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2527.0 2387.08602151 106% => OK
No of words: 414.0 408.028673835 101% => OK
Chars per words: 6.1038647343 5.86048508987 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51076378781 4.48200974243 101% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.357487922705 0.338922669872 105% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.272946859903 0.251872472559 108% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.190821256039 0.174417080927 109% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.132850241546 0.112833075102 118% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76318473011 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 246.0 212.727598566 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.594202898551 0.524397521467 113% => OK
Word variations: 72.7286009415 59.2087087015 123% => OK
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6684587814 111% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.5533526081 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.4323839054 48.84282405 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.869565217 120.699889404 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.0 20.5533526081 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.913043478261 0.644075263715 142% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.5376344086 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.54480286738 36% => OK
Readability: 45.2946859903 45.7405998639 99% => OK
Elegance: 1.95833333333 1.45489161554 135% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.345090316468 0.300154397459 115% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0956392888059 0.103427244359 92% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0674681364902 0.0752933317313 90% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.489186593408 0.497263757937 98% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.12506031884 0.151897553556 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.117707416631 0.114077575197 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0637693434518 0.0781384742642 82% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.250719375613 0.336927656856 74% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0677838874504 0.067059652881 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.206191833931 0.210909579961 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0698285440893 0.0618886996521 113% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8870967742 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.86379928315 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.91756272401 61% => OK
Positive topic words: 14.0 8.42114695341 166% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 2.4623655914 122% => OK
Neutral topic words: 0.0 2.75985663082 0% => More neutral topic words wanted.
Total topic words: 17.0 13.6433691756 125% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.