TPO-32 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Young people today have no influence on the important decisions that determine the future of society as a whole.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answe

Making well-informed decision is skill that every individual that need to possess in order to be a successful person in the community. Sometimes those decisions can impact society directly. I disagree that the youngsters decisions nowadays cannot impact the community positively. I feel this way for one main reason which I will explore in the following essay.

First and foremost, presently young people that are more aware of the decision making skills and they make decisions that will lead to be successful carrier . Moreover, the education system in Canada has all the necessary learning outcomes for young students to be accomplished as a reputable citizen that could bring huge values to the nation. My son's example is a compelling example of this situation. My son all along the high school he had huge desire on aerospace technology. At the same time, he also wanted to serve the country. Hence, he made a decision to be a air-cadet and he joined in the program when he was at high school where he was exposed to how to fly a plan and he also attended many training which involved rigorous training that people experience in the air force. After finishing high school, he pursued his carrier has a pilot. With the combined air cadet training and pilot course, he was able to join the air force without any delay. Now, he enjoys his carrier as a military professional while serving the country. This would not have been possible without the diligent decision that he was made since he was in high school.

On the other hand, some young people make poor decision which adversely affects our community as a whole. Many youngsters get into drugs and cannot make decision for the future. Moreover, they are confined in a imaginary world because of these drugs that lead them in a negative path. For instance, i know a friend that did not listen to his parents and moved away from his parents after high school. As a result, he lived with his friends who are addicted to drugs, At that time, he was getting into the habit of drugs and started stealing money in order to buy drugs. As a result of stealing, my friend and his acquaintance were all arrested and imprisoned. This situation left my friends ashamed of his son they killed themselves. This incident affected the whole community and blamed my friend for his wrongful decision. Because of my friends poor decision of getting into drugs left him prison without any family ties. Besides, he did not contribute anything to his nation rather than choosing a wrongful decision which left him with detrimental effects physically and psychologically
.
In conclusion, some young people are way good at making well-informed decision and contribute to the society positively whereas others struggle to make such decision when they are young.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 157, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... that will lead to be successful carrier . Moreover, the education system in Canad...
^^
Line 3, column 569, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ountry. Hence, he made a decision to be a air-cadet and he joined in the program ...
^
Line 3, column 1123, Rule ID: MAKE_SINCE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'sense'?
Suggestion: sense
... the diligent decision that he was made since he was in high school. On the other...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 210, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... future. Moreover, they are confined in a imaginary world because of these drugs ...
^
Line 5, column 300, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
... them in a negative path. For instance, i know a friend that did not listen to hi...
^
Line 5, column 826, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ed my friend for his wrongful decision. Because of my friends poor decision of getting ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1091, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... effects physically and psychologically . In conclusion, some young people are ...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, hence, moreover, so, well, whereas, while, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, as a result, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 11.0286738351 172% => OK
Pronoun: 61.0 43.0788530466 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2334.0 1977.66487455 118% => OK
No of words: 475.0 407.700716846 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.91368421053 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66845742379 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62643865571 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.494736842105 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 730.8 618.680645161 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.5952425655 48.9658058833 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.36 100.406767564 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.0 20.6045352989 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.48 5.45110844103 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.103828860678 0.236089414692 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0341366005902 0.076458572812 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0344994646545 0.0737576698707 47% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0822920885574 0.150856017488 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0264534239358 0.0645574589148 41% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 11.7677419355 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.14 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 86.8835125448 123% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.