TPO-34 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phone, online games, and social networking Web site.U

Education is a mean to prosperity; for nations and individuals. With advancing of technology, there are advantages and disadvantages for education in our times. It is much easier to obtain information from websites and learn a different kind of skills via online media. However, some disadvantages must be considered such as fascinating online games, and social media that bring people together with minimum efforts. These distractions could be devastating in the process of education and could cause a distraction. Thus parents should supervise their children behaviors towards this mediums. Let me elaborate myself with two reasons.

First, online games are very seductive and time-consuming. Game companies make attractive games with many features that could easily lure the young into playing them day and night and cause them to be addicted to these games. For instance, my cousin; Fariman, was addicted to computer games. He spent most of the hours of a day playing games, whether it was computer games or online games. He even sometimes was visiting game centers. That process caused him to be very distracted. He couldn't concentrate on lessons in school or on his homework and eventually got poor grades in high school. Even now that he is in university, he can't help himself playing video games. To summarize, there are lots of children having Fariman's addiction to games, and it affects their lives adversely.

Second, with spreading social networks, it is very easy to be in contact with everyone you know. It is wonderful that people could easily be in touch with their relatives, but it also has its downsides. The urge of getting data on other people status, sharing pictures with others as well as seeing them, could cause spending a lot of hours surfing on these social networks. For instance, my other cousin, Parham, can't help himself spending lots of his time on social networks like Facebook, Instagram, and other networks. He is so drowning in them he couldn't even realize how time-consuming this could be. He can't prioritize his works. Therefore he suffers in some aspects of his life. For example, his relationship with his family is getting colder, and he is getting angrier because he feels frustrated.

Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phones, online games, and social networking websites. It is essential that parents supervise their kids in using this media, to prevent them from addiction to these media and have a prosperous life of their own in the future.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 580, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...ervise their children behaviors towards this mediums. Let me elaborate myself with t...
^^^^
Line 3, column 486, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...ss caused him to be very distracted. He couldnt concentrate on lessons in school or on ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 631, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
.... Even now that he is in university, he cant help himself playing video games. To su...
^^^^
Line 3, column 631, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'cants'.
Suggestion: cants
.... Even now that he is in university, he cant help himself playing video games. To su...
^^^^
Line 3, column 649, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[9]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to play' or 'play'.
Suggestion: to play; play
... is in university, he cant help himself playing video games. To summarize, there are lo...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 415, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
... For instance, my other cousin, Parham, cant help himself spending lots of his time ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 433, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[9]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to spend' or 'spend'.
Suggestion: to spend; spend
...other cousin, Parham, cant help himself spending lots of his time on social networks lik...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 553, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
... networks. He is so drowning in them he couldnt even realize how time-consuming this co...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 611, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...ze how time-consuming this could be. He cant prioritize his works. Therefore he suff...
^^^^
Line 5, column 611, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'He' must be used with a third-person verb: 'cants'.
Suggestion: cants
...ze how time-consuming this could be. He cant prioritize his works. Therefore he suff...
^^^^
Line 5, column 638, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...could be. He cant prioritize his works. Therefore he suffers in some aspects of his life....
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, second, so, therefore, thus, well, even so, for example, for instance, kind of, such as, you know, as well as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 59.0 43.0788530466 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2155.0 1977.66487455 109% => OK
No of words: 425.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07058823529 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54043259262 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72651367439 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 224.0 212.727598566 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.527058823529 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 666.9 618.680645161 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 42.4533855049 48.9658058833 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 82.8846153846 100.406767564 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.3461538462 20.6045352989 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.38461538462 5.45110844103 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.5376344086 199% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.219947107069 0.236089414692 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0622895431605 0.076458572812 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.111835412274 0.0737576698707 152% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.162573383682 0.150856017488 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.108167551199 0.0645574589148 168% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 11.7677419355 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 58.1214874552 95% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.83 10.9000537634 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.41 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 86.8835125448 123% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.